Grrrrr, am angry at the moment. Can't sleep so instead am doing my usual getting myself worked up. Nights like tonight I begin to wonder if it'll ever be my turn. I'm getting tired of taking people to dinner but never being taken out myself. God, fucking fast food would be fine. Also getting tired of feeling like everyone else's lives take precedence.
I asked for help with my resume. Never happened months ago, although all got dropped for the other guy. Now again I ask for help and suddenly yet another person asks and I've got this sneaky suspicion mine gets pushed aside again. Its shit like this. Its the little stuff. It can also be the bigger stuff....like talking to people you feel you need to and trying to figure out which guy you wanna be with!
But little stuff is a big deal. With Anne, even bringing it up has been an issue. As soon as I do she "feels awful". Not my frickin intention. Its either that or it comes out that somehow I misread something. And with footing being so unsure as it is, I don't know if I'm reading into too much or what. Maybe its still learning the best way to approach these issues. Dunno.
Just really angry. Am sick of all of this but still totally in love. Something inside me tells me not to leave. Worst part is potential I see. Yeah maybe you shouldn't date from potential but I can't help it. I see the things that has caused stress like finishing school, and other issues in the past. I see the potential she has once she can pull herself through and find her feet again. I'm furious at life and fate if after everything, she wastes that potential on an undeserving idiot who will not be what she thinks.
Really tired and angry at life right now. If she isn't the one then where is someone for me? Where is that girl dedicated to the same industry I am? Why is it my gut KEEPS telling me I found her although the situation is shit right now?
I'm getting to the point of resenting friends. They all are busy now. Why? Because they all have someone. When this started with Anne and I, it was the other way around and I heard how depressed they all were.
Just really really angry with life at the moment.
I asked for help with my resume. Never happened months ago, although all got dropped for the other guy. Now again I ask for help and suddenly yet another person asks and I've got this sneaky suspicion mine gets pushed aside again. Its shit like this. Its the little stuff. It can also be the bigger stuff....like talking to people you feel you need to and trying to figure out which guy you wanna be with!
But little stuff is a big deal. With Anne, even bringing it up has been an issue. As soon as I do she "feels awful". Not my frickin intention. Its either that or it comes out that somehow I misread something. And with footing being so unsure as it is, I don't know if I'm reading into too much or what. Maybe its still learning the best way to approach these issues. Dunno.
Just really angry. Am sick of all of this but still totally in love. Something inside me tells me not to leave. Worst part is potential I see. Yeah maybe you shouldn't date from potential but I can't help it. I see the things that has caused stress like finishing school, and other issues in the past. I see the potential she has once she can pull herself through and find her feet again. I'm furious at life and fate if after everything, she wastes that potential on an undeserving idiot who will not be what she thinks.
Really tired and angry at life right now. If she isn't the one then where is someone for me? Where is that girl dedicated to the same industry I am? Why is it my gut KEEPS telling me I found her although the situation is shit right now?
I'm getting to the point of resenting friends. They all are busy now. Why? Because they all have someone. When this started with Anne and I, it was the other way around and I heard how depressed they all were.
Just really really angry with life at the moment.