took a bunch of nude self-portraits today, two of which are even remotely interesting. quite honestly, i look like shit these days, perpetually tired, locks two months untwisted, expression one of a contact junkie who hasn't been touched, really touched, in months.
my mother is in town from iowa, visiting her parents (my grandparents, who i live with). i wish i could get enthusiastic, but...
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my mother is in town from iowa, visiting her parents (my grandparents, who i live with). i wish i could get enthusiastic, but...
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what you want is immaterial to me because it doesn't involve me being happy.
(cross posted from livejournal)
i apologize for ay typos, but my contacts are out and i can't see for shit without them, so i'm just typing this in the dark with my eyes closed. of course i'm here, alone, again, maybe because i'm not assertive enough. a friend of mine told me i'm too nice about things, that i need to be more insistent upon...
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i apologize for ay typos, but my contacts are out and i can't see for shit without them, so i'm just typing this in the dark with my eyes closed. of course i'm here, alone, again, maybe because i'm not assertive enough. a friend of mine told me i'm too nice about things, that i need to be more insistent upon...
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i have to remember to never, ever act on things. especially crushes.
oldschool:
sometimes I do silly stuff at the time, and then am glad for it later. Other times I do the right thing and wish I had done the wrong. Life sucks like that. Crushes are evil.
rest assured i'm normally not as emo as my last entry (or my userpic) implies.
my knees are aching, my back is killing me, i haven't had sex in forever, i feel very ugly, lyrically impotent, and just plain inadequate.
that is all.
that is all.
oldschool:
I have days like that too. Also weeks and months like that, so I know what you mean. By the looks of your bands, film and book favorites. You have style. So you are not in that much trouble. I dont really have any advice or any witty reparte, so I will leave you with a cool quote that gets me through things sometimes......Happiness and misfourtune are indeed always of a mans own seeking. Heaven sent calamities you may stand up against, but you can not stand up to those brought on by yourself. -Mencius
[Edited on Jul 21, 2003]
[Edited on Jul 21, 2003]
a rather cute (white) woman pulled my hair last night. i think she was trying to be affectionate, but such trivialization of my locks, the idea that i've gone dread for fashion, completely insults me.
i hate to take something like this so seriously (believe me, it's one of few things about me that i do regard with seriousness), but it's consistently pissed me off....
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i hate to take something like this so seriously (believe me, it's one of few things about me that i do regard with seriousness), but it's consistently pissed me off....
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oldschool:
I like your thoughts. I think one of societies major flaws is that it must define everything. Just my opinion of course. Something in constant evolution is beyond completion, and cannot be defined until that point. Evolution is living. definitions are for dead things. That woman, despite being cute, I know I fall for that to. Disregard her, she sounds like a hater to me. anyway, I stumbled upon your journal and liked what I read. frankly i could probably use a comment or two from a person as articulate and well adjusted as yourself. Can I add you to my friends list?
[Edited on Jul 19, 2003]
[Edited on Jul 19, 2003]
oldschool:
you can add me to your friends list ....werd dup
if i could stop listening to don caballero for long enough today, i might get something accomplished before i have to work at three.
this is doubtful.
this is doubtful.
...i said, you can fuck off, just go stick something somewhere and pretend it's what will make you happy, because you got nothing that doesn't interest me, but you're so fucking concerned with love or some loose forever that you lose sight of the fool you're making yourself out to be.</P><P></P><P>there is no forever, anyone who really thinks there there is a forever is either...
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it's monday at noon, i don't work until three, and i have yet to put on an article of clothing.
that's something to hold onto, i suppose.
i'm thinking over the possibility of cross-posting entries from any of my numerous other journals.
Fractal is the most beautiful woman alive. (or dead, I suppose, if she's really a zombie, but that's a completely different story.)
that's something to hold onto, i suppose.
i'm thinking over the possibility of cross-posting entries from any of my numerous other journals.
Fractal is the most beautiful woman alive. (or dead, I suppose, if she's really a zombie, but that's a completely different story.)
jjay:
some necrophilia perhaps