whatiwas

my curiosity with jean-michel basquiat begins anew, if only because someone told me i aesthetically reminded them of him today.

to be honest, i don't think i look like him at all (principally because i'm not haitian), but i still take it as a compliment. i guess i started knowing who he was when my dad pointed him out while watching the Blondie video for...
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i'm ground down to the bone, body and soul, which is a shame, but real.

my mother leaves tomorrow. i'll have wonderous stories to tell about that. not that it amtters.

the n key on my keyboard is messed up.

happy wednesday.

i don't need to hear you say it, i just need to feel alive.

crashing.. need sleep.

it occurs to me again that my birthday is approaching.

neurotic domesticity:

i love doing laundry. i'm obsessed with it, really, mostly for the products i use. i approach detergent shopping with a fanatacism i primarily reserve for sex.

softskinplianttothetouchhairinmynoseandaironmyshoulders, icanhearyoureyesmovingwhenyouclosethem, onlytouchmethiswayuntilitellyoustop, i can't take it anymore, thisisthewayyouarewhenilosecontrolofthedream, buteventhatsoverwhenyouturnawaytodoanythingelse. illdoanydanceyouwantbaby, justletmeknowwhenicancomeandilldomybesttolastsolong.

last night, i downloaded a much-needed vandals song ("my girlfriend's dead," if you must know).

there is a short gay man in my bedroom, dressed only in his underwear, and he won't go away.

i've been awake for twenty minutes and already the day is fucking surreal.

I don't feel like shaving today, a simple statement, but one indicative of some major realizations, the first of which being that I don't care about being lonely right now. I mean, of course I do, today was as fucking painful as every other morning, but right now it doesn't matter, because I've accepted this lack of connection as permanent.

I very much needed to...
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had a nice zen afternoon yesterday--took a long shower, washed my hair and re-twisted it. i unexpectedly got today off from work, meaning it will consist of roaming portland in praise of folly. or clothes.

(no, today did not call for an Erasmus reference, but what day ever does?)