whatiwas

i know i should be sitting with better posture, but i think it's done burning through what's there and is working on what i need to keep. i can't take my own weight, i want to collapse in on myself and become what i always wished i was, only this time i'd be changing alone.

crush you with my blackness and maybe you'll cry out

moan like the overmentioned spasm makes you

you're tighter and smaller than i

thought.

(this started out about consumption, but i'm sick and decaying prematurely enough already, i thought they tested me for this in paradise, raised red dots and palm trees didn't make sense to me then either, you should have fucking expected it to change into a better beast.)

on the other side, i'm hammering out notes, actually, it's probably someone else, if i could focus on the shifting real around me i could find the language to describe it better, i'm sorry