whatiwas

the micah gaugh song on storm & stress's under thunder and fluorescent light slays me every time, hoarse and raspy, obviously improvised, probably the most "real" out of all the music i listen to, belted out casually and off-key with no concern for anything other than the song itself. i take the fucking thing far more seriously than he probably wants (or cares, for that matter), but i put it on repeat every time it comes on, because it's beautiful, and it makes me think of touching.

the whole album is such a sensual experience, all rolling drums and plunking guitar/bass sounds and vocals that come and go. it's pedestrian to say that i like it because i don't entirely understand it, but then maybe i'm not giving myself credit, that my finding intense beauty in the abstract noise no one (save for Jason at O3 records) seems to appreciate but me, spending the whole fucking time wondering how they did any one of the million "that"'s in every song, having some idea because of what little i know about the instruments involved but not knowing completely suggests that i am, indeed, worthy of thinking about music and talking about it.

that's it, really, what speaks to me most about music, finding complexity in the most simple things, exploring the simple mechanics of moving one's hands or feet with an instrument and the sounds they make, taking a sound that works and repeating it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over until the intonations of every strike/stroke/push/pull become painfully clear, developing a love for every different way of experiencing the same thing until it spreads into your real life, that everything you touch or see or feel or think becomes so informative that your brain can't help but love what's happening. it's almost like the triumph of instinct over intellect, except the logical part of consciousness gets involved.

it's every aspect of yourself merging with anything that will allow it to happen.

(yeah, i'm a pretentious fuck. so what?)