whatisthelight

Well... I fell I should update my journal. Thinking about alot of things lately. Last week scared me because of my alcohol induced suicide attempt on Wednesday night Thursday morning. When I am having a bout with depression and alcohol enters the picture it is not pretty. I wish that I could have those pass out drunks that are kind of funny or related to having a good time. However, after a certain point my alcohol consumption kicks up dark energy inside of me. I end up doing things and saying things that are not laughable the next day they are just plain ugly. Passing out next to dumpsters in alleys and waking up in my own vomit and not knowing how or why or what happened is not good for the soul. Sidenote here, big thanks to Scorpio for answering her phone last Wednesday and talking to me while in one of these states. I have had roommates who have had to do sort of interventions to keep me from killing myself. I have done therapy. I need to get a handle on things right now because if I let it go too far it is hard to say what could happen.
Okay enough of that just thought I would share. It seems like I haven't seen alot of the SG folks in forever. That sucks and is my fault. I had my chance last Friday but I was still reeling from events of the days before and could not attend the soiree hosted by Roxy. A thousand apologies to her for being an ass and flaking. I am not sure if I will be at Karaoke tonight... we shall see. Anyway hope all is well with everyone else. See you on the flipside.