So I am going to try and explain how I am feeling lately.
So its cooling down here in Arizona as we get ready for fall and winter (which are basically the same since we really only have two seasons) but for some reason with all the cooling down, I am picking up these vibes from my past, its sort of like a combination of emotions and a deja vu type feeling. It's sort of like the past has found a way back to the present. It seems to be triggered by like various things like scents, tempature, music and location and then just out of the blue I will remember things.
So for examples, my mom's had the week off (I still dont have a new car) so we have been out and about and I will be listening to like Armor For Sleep's "What To Do When Your Dead" and whenever I play it I think about when I was driving myself to like MCC and like never going to class, and being awake at the same time everyone else was going to work and all these memories flood back.
Halloween is on the horizon and I remember how I wanted to do something wonderful for my girlfriend at the time so I went and picked her up and all the music we listened to on the way to Flaggstaff and back and how it was really cold and beautiful and we held hands and it was this great experience and memory.
It's just been like a huge mindfuck and I feel like its only going to get worse as we head into Christmas, cause back in Highschool an old friend and I (who had a falling out) used to throw these massive Christmas parties and our bands would all play at them and him and I would always try to out do each other in gift buying. Man I would go broke just to see everyone get what they really wanted.
I dont really have that much any more and I dont know if I live in the past or what youd call it its just I guess I miss all those little things that seem to come back every year around the time. It's just amazing how life works
I still think it would be cute if I could be a SG model some day, *shakes her fist at Isis* you had to beat me to being on Top Model
Hope everyone has a wonderful day
So its cooling down here in Arizona as we get ready for fall and winter (which are basically the same since we really only have two seasons) but for some reason with all the cooling down, I am picking up these vibes from my past, its sort of like a combination of emotions and a deja vu type feeling. It's sort of like the past has found a way back to the present. It seems to be triggered by like various things like scents, tempature, music and location and then just out of the blue I will remember things.
So for examples, my mom's had the week off (I still dont have a new car) so we have been out and about and I will be listening to like Armor For Sleep's "What To Do When Your Dead" and whenever I play it I think about when I was driving myself to like MCC and like never going to class, and being awake at the same time everyone else was going to work and all these memories flood back.
Halloween is on the horizon and I remember how I wanted to do something wonderful for my girlfriend at the time so I went and picked her up and all the music we listened to on the way to Flaggstaff and back and how it was really cold and beautiful and we held hands and it was this great experience and memory.
It's just been like a huge mindfuck and I feel like its only going to get worse as we head into Christmas, cause back in Highschool an old friend and I (who had a falling out) used to throw these massive Christmas parties and our bands would all play at them and him and I would always try to out do each other in gift buying. Man I would go broke just to see everyone get what they really wanted.
I dont really have that much any more and I dont know if I live in the past or what youd call it its just I guess I miss all those little things that seem to come back every year around the time. It's just amazing how life works
I still think it would be cute if I could be a SG model some day, *shakes her fist at Isis* you had to beat me to being on Top Model
Hope everyone has a wonderful day
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I also don't really like Christmas because it mostly just feels lonely.