weston

The Good

Got some new albums...They just appeared on my computer...Yea that's it...Because I would never ever steal music *wink wink*

Anyway, the albums include "What to do When You Are Dead" by Armor for Sleep and "Late Registration" by Kanye West. I'm also getting about 4 HIM albums as I type this. I'm not a huge fan of HIM, but I've liked what I've heard from them, so I'm checking them out a bit more.

So, I finally started reading Angels & Demons by Dan Brown. I'm only 117 pages in, but my goodness is this a good book. Has me hooked for sure. Definitely going to have to get The Divinci Code next. You should all check it out if you have a chance.

That reminds me...Did any of you following my advice and wrap yourselves up in a blanket and watch Mr. Smith Goes to Washington? What!? You didn't!? Man, you just don't know what you are missing.

Super Bowl

I'm routing for the Steelers to win the Super Bowl even more now. Seahawks fans have been bashing our boy "Lights Out" Merriman ever chance they get now. I hope the Steelers give em hell for their blasphemy! By the way, if you want to read a great discussion about the Super Bowl, I suggest you check out this thread: Go Seahawks!!! on my clan's forums. I post as PX_Phoenix for those of you who don't know. Our logic and arguments are flawless...lol You'll see.

The Bad

I've been having some not so happy dreams as of late. In the first dream, I am married and my wife ends up going to a work party while I stay at home and watch over the kids. She ends up getting drunk and cheats on me. The next two dreams have involved my friends dying. Dunno why I'm having these dreams, but they make me feel all weird

The Ugly

I feel absolutely horrible. I swear, my body is aging 10x faster than it should. I'm a month away from being 19 and my body is falling apart. I've been exhausted for, what, a week now? Sleep doesn't seem to be helping. Every morning, despite getting a full night of sleep, I look in the mirror to find red, tired eyes staring back at me. And the more tired my eyes are, the more often I have the vision problems discussed in the last couple of entries.

My body aches everywhere. My legs, hips, back, neck...I'm constantly tweaking something and experiencing, as I explain it, lightning shooting through my muscles.

My face aches...Not sure if the tumor is still swollen or what, but it hurts. And the cold mornings kill me...The make it feel like someone is stabbing me in the face. I am taking Tylenol almost regularily now.

Thanks ot the dry weather my nose is always stuffy. My throat hurts because I have to breath through my mouth. My lips and tongue and cracked and raw. Everything tastes funny and every bit of acid stings like hell.

I hate feeling so bad. I hate suffering. But because of the last two years, I am sad to say that I am used to the suffering. It is normal for me. I almost crave it. I constantly hold off on taking medicine, waiting until I can't stand the pain any more. My mom always asks me why I wait so long, but I don't think she believes me when I tell her that I've been programmed to suffer, that it is all that I know how to do.

*sigh*

Current Mood: Moody, in pain, and feeling like grade A shit
Currently Listening to: "But it's Better if you Do" - Panic! At the Disco
Currently Watching: Well, not quite "currently watching," but I can't get enough of: Smallville, Miami Ink, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Made, True Life
Currently Playing: Counter-Strike: Source ([p]X | Phoenix, [p]X | Kal-El, or [p]X | Panic! At the Disco), World of Warcraft (PXAnime on Kel'Thuzad), Battlefield 2 (=Superman=KalEl), Warcraft III (PX_Conqueror)
Currently Reading: Angels & Demons by Dan Brown
Sites: Art MySpace Xanga SuicideGirls
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