weston

Fuck Me With a Chainsaw

Weston vs the tumor round 3. Fight!

Yes, that's right, I have another fucking reoccurrence. Not surprising, as I have had similar symptoms as before, but still depressing as hell...

So, we have three plans of action this time, none of which I am happy about.

1) Perform numerous embolizations in an attempt to slow down the growth of the tumor. These types of tumors tend to slow down around the age of 19-20, so if we can delay growth until then, there is a chance I can just live with it for the rest of my life, without it causing any more problems. But the embolization process is long and painful as hell...But, we are going to give it a try

2) Have my third surgeon. The only problem with this is that the surgeon thinks it will have the same results as the last two. As he put it, I bleed faster than they can suck up the blood, so it is difficulty to see and operate

3) Radiation. Last resort because it can cause problems down the road (Including the possibility of another type of tumor 20 or so years from now)

I've just about hit every worse case scenario with this fucking thing. The only "good" thing was that we originally caught it early, so it didn't have a chance to alter my bone structure, or spread into my brain. But it is far more angio than most (Meaning lots of blood vessels, therefore lots of bleeding), and I am in the lucky 5-10% that has reoccurrences...

I'm so fucking tired of this shit...Why won't it just end...

And here I am again...Depressed and scared as hell...

I had planned to write more...But writing about the tumor and actually having to think about what i am going through has put me in a bad mood...I'll update on Monday when I'm hopefully in better spirits.