Hey low,
So a few things have happened.
A friend of mine Oded on saturday night. I just saw her for the first time in ages a few days before my birthday. She told me to come to her work sometime and shed buy me some food. I literally drove past her work friday night and was gonna stop by and see her. I just thought I'll stop by some other time she'll be there. I used to get tore down with that chick in high school. I'd call her to drive me around and smoke it was always a blast. It just kind of snapped things back into perspective for me. My friends mother died recently my friends sister died as well and my other friends brother was shot and killed. It's like my senior year of high school everyone is dying. It's very real when you realize how short our time can be.
Another note I have a confession to make. Not that it's a giant deal or I even talk to the person I'm confessing to any longer but alas here goes. I've been smoking again since you went on vacation. I really don't know why I concealed the fact. I am most certainly not ashamed. I'm very disappointed I blew my 4 year soberness. I defiantly intend to stop again. I don't think marijuana is bad at all I'm totally pro chronic but I need to stop again. I fail the concept of moderation when people smoke with me they pass out and never come back around. It's not because I'm a G or anything it's because I'm pure wasteful and get messed up like its my job. Which is just plain no good. I feel my wits dimmed and my body is always sluggish.
As I said in my last post I hate to sleep alone but I am embracing my singleness and being happy that my life isn't utter shit. don't wanna be weighed down by two sets of problems. I've got a full plate right now and I need to be ok with myself long before I can be ok with someone else. BUT I am certainly sick of hearing how I am too good for this girl or that girl. Seriously the way everyone makes it sound I'll be alone forever because I am just tooo amazing for anyone. Something has to be off I can't be too good for everyone. Maybe I'm just not good enough?
Anyhow I really like this band even though they are totally poppy
So a few things have happened.
A friend of mine Oded on saturday night. I just saw her for the first time in ages a few days before my birthday. She told me to come to her work sometime and shed buy me some food. I literally drove past her work friday night and was gonna stop by and see her. I just thought I'll stop by some other time she'll be there. I used to get tore down with that chick in high school. I'd call her to drive me around and smoke it was always a blast. It just kind of snapped things back into perspective for me. My friends mother died recently my friends sister died as well and my other friends brother was shot and killed. It's like my senior year of high school everyone is dying. It's very real when you realize how short our time can be.
Another note I have a confession to make. Not that it's a giant deal or I even talk to the person I'm confessing to any longer but alas here goes. I've been smoking again since you went on vacation. I really don't know why I concealed the fact. I am most certainly not ashamed. I'm very disappointed I blew my 4 year soberness. I defiantly intend to stop again. I don't think marijuana is bad at all I'm totally pro chronic but I need to stop again. I fail the concept of moderation when people smoke with me they pass out and never come back around. It's not because I'm a G or anything it's because I'm pure wasteful and get messed up like its my job. Which is just plain no good. I feel my wits dimmed and my body is always sluggish.
As I said in my last post I hate to sleep alone but I am embracing my singleness and being happy that my life isn't utter shit. don't wanna be weighed down by two sets of problems. I've got a full plate right now and I need to be ok with myself long before I can be ok with someone else. BUT I am certainly sick of hearing how I am too good for this girl or that girl. Seriously the way everyone makes it sound I'll be alone forever because I am just tooo amazing for anyone. Something has to be off I can't be too good for everyone. Maybe I'm just not good enough?
Anyhow I really like this band even though they are totally poppy
I'm sorry to hear about your friend. *hugs*