So much time has passed. Been doing the usual with friends. The news around the house is I painted the living room. I discovered the most incredible primer. I never was much of a primer fan - seemed like more work to me, but this stuff is incredible. I rolled out the entire room in a half hour with half gallon of paint! Incredible! The...
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VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
My 20 facts
1) I am a walking contradiction
2) When I replace sex with food I cant get into my own pants
3) I either use sex or food as a crutch. If I dont have one, Ill reach for the other. Sex is my first choice.
4) I should stay out of the sun (red hair, freckles) but I love it so much....
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1) I am a walking contradiction
2) When I replace sex with food I cant get into my own pants
3) I either use sex or food as a crutch. If I dont have one, Ill reach for the other. Sex is my first choice.
4) I should stay out of the sun (red hair, freckles) but I love it so much....
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VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
baysponge:
Please forgive yourself ... first off - it has been a while now and you do not deserve nor do you get any benefit from still clinging to that baggage - if you need to do soemthing to repent - do it but guilt is a waste in time and energy
Also - let go because it sounded like you needed to avoid the stress that year ... there are times in life when it is ok to be selfish and take care of yourself first - it is not like you were just being lazy or that you knew that it would be your last chance to celebrate Christmas w/ your mom ... ok it might have been better (at least for you guilt) if you had been more honest w/ her - but we all have (I certainly do) baggage in relationships w/ parents ... if you truly believe that she has forgiven you then you owe it to yourself to forgive yourself as well
as for me, I am ok w/ my depression - it exists and always will in some form - I just deal w/ the current state of the ups and downs - I think I am getting better at coping with it and working thru the downs so they are not so bad, so they do not last as long, and so they do not impact others as much. I do not regret being honest w/ my employers - I took that as a big step and a positive one at that - that I was strong enough to put that out there even when most people don't understand or don't emphathize ... I would do it all the same way if I had to do it again ...
what I was saying is that having to explain my inability to keep it from adversely affecting my two sons was what I consider my failure - or more accurately, having to explain it all to an 11 and 8 yo. I do not mind having to expose my imperfections to my sons ... I rather like the idea of teaching them that the important thing in life is how you react to adversity and how you pick yourself up when things are going bad. It was humbling though to have them cry a lot when they were told that we had to move away from everything they knew and were comfortable with because of me ... on top of it, the financial pressures of having to do it on someone else's schedule and not when it is most convenient or beneficial to us.
I did laugh a little though - my 11 yo admitted through his tears that I was "runing his life' - when I pushed to find out why, it was because I was taking him away from a girl in his class - mind you they are not close - he does not talk w/ her much - he has only shared his feelings with one buddy in his class & refused any suggestion that he try to nurture the friedship by e-mail or whatever - but he seemed crushed that his first crush was being unfairly taken away from him ... watching him struggle w/ these emotions for the first time was cute and I tried to be supportive - but I had to do it through the prism of my actions was taking this away from him ...
anyway, I better get to work this morning
take care m'lady
hugs always
Also - let go because it sounded like you needed to avoid the stress that year ... there are times in life when it is ok to be selfish and take care of yourself first - it is not like you were just being lazy or that you knew that it would be your last chance to celebrate Christmas w/ your mom ... ok it might have been better (at least for you guilt) if you had been more honest w/ her - but we all have (I certainly do) baggage in relationships w/ parents ... if you truly believe that she has forgiven you then you owe it to yourself to forgive yourself as well
as for me, I am ok w/ my depression - it exists and always will in some form - I just deal w/ the current state of the ups and downs - I think I am getting better at coping with it and working thru the downs so they are not so bad, so they do not last as long, and so they do not impact others as much. I do not regret being honest w/ my employers - I took that as a big step and a positive one at that - that I was strong enough to put that out there even when most people don't understand or don't emphathize ... I would do it all the same way if I had to do it again ...
what I was saying is that having to explain my inability to keep it from adversely affecting my two sons was what I consider my failure - or more accurately, having to explain it all to an 11 and 8 yo. I do not mind having to expose my imperfections to my sons ... I rather like the idea of teaching them that the important thing in life is how you react to adversity and how you pick yourself up when things are going bad. It was humbling though to have them cry a lot when they were told that we had to move away from everything they knew and were comfortable with because of me ... on top of it, the financial pressures of having to do it on someone else's schedule and not when it is most convenient or beneficial to us.
I did laugh a little though - my 11 yo admitted through his tears that I was "runing his life' - when I pushed to find out why, it was because I was taking him away from a girl in his class - mind you they are not close - he does not talk w/ her much - he has only shared his feelings with one buddy in his class & refused any suggestion that he try to nurture the friedship by e-mail or whatever - but he seemed crushed that his first crush was being unfairly taken away from him ... watching him struggle w/ these emotions for the first time was cute and I tried to be supportive - but I had to do it through the prism of my actions was taking this away from him ...
anyway, I better get to work this morning
take care m'lady
hugs always
baysponge:
I have missed you the past few days & I will be gone until Sun nite
I hope you are having a great time and I hope to hear from you next week
hugs m'lady
I hope you are having a great time and I hope to hear from you next week
hugs m'lady
You ever just really love someone but they drain you? You know, after a point you just really need a break big time. I am recharging my batteries in the area of "someone".
There was this moment when I thought, I cant stand to listen to you another minute. I feel like the rapid fire jackhammer stream of verbal onslaught was making me about to...
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There was this moment when I thought, I cant stand to listen to you another minute. I feel like the rapid fire jackhammer stream of verbal onslaught was making me about to...
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VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
baysponge:
I am still waiting for you list of 20 facts ... 
I hope they are not that challenging - I do not want to feel guilty in tagging you ...
have a great week m'lady
hugs
I hope they are not that challenging - I do not want to feel guilty in tagging you ...
have a great week m'lady
hugs
mackenzie_k:
histories mysteries is on the history channel, I dont know the exact times though. I am doing good, not having too much trouble, just trying to take it easy.
wednesday. what a nice surprise to have friends who are spontaneous. I get a call at 9:30 to lets go out and meet E and A that we met last week. My friend K had been talking to A and they are going back home (from out of state) but are going out once more. This is ok, A is too cute for his own...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
wendylynn:
you do? what happened to cause you to need a hug? re: pictures.... I am so not feeling very photogenic. (Is that how you spell that?)
I am so honored though, you cant imagine..... thank you again so much! Hopefully I can have a raincheck and cash it in one day. Please?
I am so honored though, you cant imagine..... thank you again so much! Hopefully I can have a raincheck and cash it in one day. Please?
mackenzie_k:
sure you can have a rain cheek. As for what happen thats a long story and not one I am sure you want Me to type out on your journal lol. But needless to say it sucked, but I am doing ok, took the last two days to mellow out and except it. Just tired of being alone, you know?
Crazy. My car is making this thumping noise. Turns out I have a huge blister looking thing as big as a fist on my tire. Gotta get a tire today. There goes my pedicure money. How petty does that sound? A close friend was in a car wreck and is in serious but stable condition in UVA. She is unconscious from meds and they are...
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mackenzie_k:
Its no problem at all, I am sorry to hear about your friend, but I am sure she will be fine. So when do I get to work on petting you, and giving you hickeys? 
Interesting weekend. I meet friends in a bar I havent seen since high school. We end up going to her house with 3 out of towners in tow. Plus another of her friends from back in the day. End up completely wasted. There was some crazy idea that 5 guys and 2 girls was a great idea. Im thinking no on 2 of the guys....
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mackenzie_k:
I dont know if you can print out the journals, yes to the beer can thing, as for family, well we all have problems with our own lol. As for the cancer thing, I know alot of people with freckles and none have the risk of cancer, so dont sweat it sexy. Glad you had some mindless sex this weekend, at least one of us should have lol. I hope your week gets better
wendylynn:
Ooops. Forgot $900 in credit card debt and the new tattoo I need.
God, Im tired, how do I get off this damn computer.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
mackenzie_k:
your girlfriend huh? lol
wendylynn:
say what ?????
oh yeah - heather.
why is that lol???
tell me a story
oh yeah - heather.
why is that lol???
tell me a story
This dude I met on the internet, no lie, in the course of a 15 minute conversation has decided he loves me and I need to let him know what I need because he is unsure of himself. Is he for real? I'm in such a bad mood. Its about to rain. Im about to get my period I think. Tried to get drunk last...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
wendylynn:
Dude, for real. That would be awesome. I'll let you know about that. Im wondering though, where did all my other comments go. WTF?
mackenzie_k:
when you change your journal, it makes a new page or comments, the others are still here in your journal archive. and you are very welcome, be stupid to not want too
Where does everybody go to get these awesome shots of them taken? Ive eaten way too much these past couple weeks. Back on the wagon.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
mackenzie_k:
I never heard of them, I go to capital tattoo over on Ivy, Ben is really good, He has won all kinds of awards, He did My large Samoan piece. I have two tats, but have others I would like to get lol, but it takes money. We seem to like some of the same things too.
wendylynn:
Cool. Ill check them out.
Is it bad to sleep with someone on the first date? I'm still not sure. If you want to see them again, then people seem to say no - dont do it. I'm wondering why I'm still so worried bout what other people think. What is your experience? And also on having a guy friend you love and are so not into and he is...
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[Edited on Nov 26, 2005 12:55PM]