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wendylynn

funkytown

Member Since 2005

Followers 5 Following 16

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Wednesday Nov 02, 2005

Nov 1, 2005
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My 20 facts

1) I am a walking contradiction

2) When I replace sex with food I cant get into my own pants

3) I either use sex or food as a crutch. If I dont have one, Ill reach for the other. Sex is my first choice.

4) I should stay out of the sun (red hair, freckles) but I love it so much. I have a pool and a convertible that make me so happy.

5) People who are smarter than me and can make me laugh can win my heart faster than a gorgeous but dumb person.

6) I am not living up to my potential

7) I have low tolerance for routine discomfort (headache, cold, hungry, tired) but like pain from sex, a workout, or a fight

8) Im an only child of deaf parents and both parents are dead.

9) My kids are extraordinary, awesome, kind, sweet, funny, wonderful.

10) Im one of those wierd people that can smoke when Im out drinking then never want to smoke again. Unless Im drinking again then...... wait.....

11) I depend on music to help me with my moods

12) I am truly afraid I am unable to have a real relationship because I am so set in my ways and I love "my own space". I think it is the only child thing.

13) I still give love spells a try, for the hell of it

14) I was married for longer than most people are able to fully comprehend. I learned a great deal during that time.

15) When you are the boss, you have to work more, not less.

16) I have groups of friends and they dont mix well together (the walking contradiction thing??)

17) I cant handle rejection

18) I can't seem to plant or garden worth a shit, inside or out.

19) I keep old boyfriends phone numbers forever, in hopes they will be sexual enablers or special friends

20) There are many benefits to dating and relating to a deaf man.

VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
baysponge:
Please forgive yourself ... first off - it has been a while now and you do not deserve nor do you get any benefit from still clinging to that baggage - if you need to do soemthing to repent - do it but guilt is a waste in time and energy

Also - let go because it sounded like you needed to avoid the stress that year ... there are times in life when it is ok to be selfish and take care of yourself first - it is not like you were just being lazy or that you knew that it would be your last chance to celebrate Christmas w/ your mom ... ok it might have been better (at least for you guilt) if you had been more honest w/ her - but we all have (I certainly do) baggage in relationships w/ parents ... if you truly believe that she has forgiven you then you owe it to yourself to forgive yourself as well

as for me, I am ok w/ my depression - it exists and always will in some form - I just deal w/ the current state of the ups and downs - I think I am getting better at coping with it and working thru the downs so they are not so bad, so they do not last as long, and so they do not impact others as much. I do not regret being honest w/ my employers - I took that as a big step and a positive one at that - that I was strong enough to put that out there even when most people don't understand or don't emphathize ... I would do it all the same way if I had to do it again ...

what I was saying is that having to explain my inability to keep it from adversely affecting my two sons was what I consider my failure - or more accurately, having to explain it all to an 11 and 8 yo. I do not mind having to expose my imperfections to my sons ... I rather like the idea of teaching them that the important thing in life is how you react to adversity and how you pick yourself up when things are going bad. It was humbling though to have them cry a lot when they were told that we had to move away from everything they knew and were comfortable with because of me ... on top of it, the financial pressures of having to do it on someone else's schedule and not when it is most convenient or beneficial to us.

I did laugh a little though - my 11 yo admitted through his tears that I was "runing his life' - when I pushed to find out why, it was because I was taking him away from a girl in his class - mind you they are not close - he does not talk w/ her much - he has only shared his feelings with one buddy in his class & refused any suggestion that he try to nurture the friedship by e-mail or whatever - but he seemed crushed that his first crush was being unfairly taken away from him ... watching him struggle w/ these emotions for the first time was cute and I tried to be supportive - but I had to do it through the prism of my actions was taking this away from him ...

anyway, I better get to work this morning

take care m'lady
hugs always
Nov 14, 2005
baysponge:
I have missed you the past few days & I will be gone until Sun nite
I hope you are having a great time and I hope to hear from you next week

hugs m'lady
Nov 18, 2005

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