wenda

Life is funny; the last few weeks there has been a lot of good, and a lot of crap.

The good: Well first, I've applied for SG. It has been my intent to do this, and today, I got it underway. A few days ago we did a shoot in my home gym to support my application, which I'll be submitting as my first set. Below the spoiler is the group of small example pics I used in my app (contains nudity).

With the body sculpting training ruling my life for so many weeks, it seemed appropriate that this shoot should be in the gym with my weights. Also it took advantage of the fact that I haven't started putting weight back on yet, so I'm still really ripped. It was, I dunno, therapeutic in a way. Even if I was too sick and couldn't make it to the comp, these photos show what I can make of myself with hard work. They mean a lot to me and I'd love the set to go live!

IF it does go live, though, I swear to GOD the first thing I'll do with my Set of the Day pay is buy a new bloody camera! My camera is totally not right for this job, and my wonderful fiance Tim had to work fucking hard for each shot. If all goes well, they will be good enough for the site; if not, I'll keep it up anyway as a rejected set and work harder at getting the equipment right for the next set. Let's see how things roll.

Another good: Kittens!



That's not a very good pic admittedly, but there are four: a piebald patchwork girl, two fluffy ginger boys, and a grey tabby boy. They are about two and a half weeks old.

Though this is a story both good and bad. Our neighbour has cats that sort of... just hang around his house. Like farm cats I guess, except that this isn't a farm, it's a suburban street. And he doesn't take care of them the way that suburban cats should be taken care of, eg providing them with proper housing, desexing, worming, regular food, etc. So they're mostly ferals which breed indiscriminately, cause nuisances of themselves, fight and/or rape other peoples' cats, kill wildlife, and die - we've noticed some of his cats which were around a lot suddenly disappear, and others randomly appear. We live on a busy street after all...

Anyway, most of these cats are hideously unfriendly (as wild cats generally are) but one of the younger ones attached herself to my boy. He was nice to her, fed her our food scraps (because I trim all my meat of fat, she gets fed pretty damn well), and generally gave her some love and attention. So she became 'our' cat, or perhaps it is more appropriate to say, we became 'her' people. As was inevitable because of the lack of desexings, she became pregnant almost as soon as she first came into season, barely six months old. And because we were 'her people', she brought the kittens to us and had them in my closet:



The mother cat's ownership is still a gray area - she's still really my neighbour's cat, even though we've fed, wormed, de-flea'd and housed her through the pregnancy and mothering of her kittens. But the kittens were born in my house. As far as I'm concerned, that makes them my damn cats. They will be desexed. Two of them we will keep, the other two we're finding good homes for with responsible cat lovers.

Anyone want a cat?

Now some bad: We're still testing to find out what went wrong with my health recently, and the picture got a bit worse when we looked at my hormone profile. Apparently my female hormones are completely screwed up - some pretty much non-existent, some at levels expected in a pre-pubertal girl, and some at levels expected in a post-menopausal woman. Apparently this sort of hormonal profile would make some fertility experts throw their hands up in despair and tell me I might never have children, although my naturopath is confident that we should be able to correct it, given time and treatment.

The possibility of not having children is not exactly devastating to me. Having children is something I don't consider to be a life-defining goal of mine, but nonetheless would like to do, if I can. However I would definitely rather choose myself, rather than having the choice taken from me. Anyway, it's early days yet - must think positive!

To end on a good note: This morning I made nutcakes. Admittedly they were supposed to be cookies, but the dough was all wrong because I still can't eat proper sugar, so I will call them cakes. They tasted fucking brilliant anyway, whatever they were. Through the course of the day, I have 'accidentally' eaten the whole batch. Oops!

xox