So im gonna be a whiney bitch for this journal. Be warned! just go to some one else's journal save your self while you still can. this was my day today. started off good ended up not so great i guess.
so i was suppose to hang out with a friend sunday night. but i bailed on her because i was tired and had to be at work at 6 am. so i lied and told her i had to be in at 4 am instead. (im a jerk i know but i hate bailing on people and i really did want to see this girl) she calls me like at 3:30 i didnt answer cause i thought it was my alarm (my cells my alarm so when it goes off at night i think its time for work and just hang it up) she called again i answered it and she was like "i thought you had to be at work blah blah blah" so i was like oh shit im runining late thanks for waking me up" well she was outside my door so i let her in and we sat in my room talking for a while until like 5:30. we talked about how me and her would get married some day and how we would make a great couple, she always tells me that if some one told her she had to marry somebody on the spot that it would be me. its true cause she tells all her friends this lol.. we always flirt but nothing has happend between us excpet some great kissing.i told her about the girl im currently with (but shes not my gf its a weird thing) and all that.. ive always had a thing for this girl. i think shes really pretty she has an amazing!! sense of humor smart and all that stuff that i like in a girl..i took her to my senior prom. but i hate to say this but shes kind of a slut..i know its mean of me to say i wouldnt call her that if it wasnt true. she doesnt want to settle down with anybody, she mess's around with random guys and shes been with a couple of my friends ( i dont date anybody that has been with a friend of mine weather she was gf or a fuck buddy..i just dont like that).. so its like i like you but there are a lot things that i dont like ..its a weird feeling for me..maybe when she matures and gets a little older she'll be the one for me who knows but shes a great friend i love her dearly for that.. but it was really nice to have some hot girl wake me up lol.shes cool people
so the other half of my day. im driving home from work when i get a call from my old best friend virginia.. shes like 12 weeks pregnant from her jealous bf and now there getting married in april. so hearing shes getting married kind of bums me out cause ive always had a thing for her. it was mutal and all that, ive talked about it before. but she says she was on the way to my house cause she wanted to give me a pic of me and her and just wanted to see me and talk. so she says she wants me to have the pic because shes moving out with her bf and doesnt think she should take it with her, im sure it was a good guester but it hurt me. i thought to my self like dude we were best friends for sooooo fucking long and your bf cant handle seeing you with another friend. wtf?!?! like he doesnt even know me and her were such good friends for so long. and he was a friend of mine! well i wouldnt say friend but an acuitance i guess. we know each other were cool with each other, we have all the same friends we even went tagging together a few times. like we know each other you know. but he has no idea about me and her. and then she says when they go get married that there both gonna have 3 friends present. hes gonna have his 3 friends. which i know all of them and chill with them all the time. more than he does. and shes gonna have 3 friends from her school.. that kind of hurt to. we once even said how we would have to be at each others weddings if we didnt end up getting married to each other. fuck i hate jealous ass bf's!! like fuck me and this girl were sooooooo fucking close it was weird. so im not gonna be able to see her have her first born or be at her wedding. that just seriously bummed me out. i guess im just a bitch. its like yeah me and her hooked up, messed around or whatever but i have fucking respect!! im not gonna try to steal her away while shes with some other guy. if shes happy im happy and im dead serious about that. but i guess it kind of hurts that shes going along with it, that she could kind of just blow me off for some guy. whenever i had a gf me and her still saw each other EVERYDAY! talked on the phone EVERYDAY! etc.. she was the saame way with her bf's back then .. i know things change and people do and we all move on but i never thought i would lose my best friend completely. i would understand if we didnt hang out as much or talked as much or so on. but to just lose contact completely realy fucking sucks..im such a bitch! hahaha but yeah that was my day. heres the pic she gave me.
i edited it a little hahaha i guess im just bitter or something
.chris
so i was suppose to hang out with a friend sunday night. but i bailed on her because i was tired and had to be at work at 6 am. so i lied and told her i had to be in at 4 am instead. (im a jerk i know but i hate bailing on people and i really did want to see this girl) she calls me like at 3:30 i didnt answer cause i thought it was my alarm (my cells my alarm so when it goes off at night i think its time for work and just hang it up) she called again i answered it and she was like "i thought you had to be at work blah blah blah" so i was like oh shit im runining late thanks for waking me up" well she was outside my door so i let her in and we sat in my room talking for a while until like 5:30. we talked about how me and her would get married some day and how we would make a great couple, she always tells me that if some one told her she had to marry somebody on the spot that it would be me. its true cause she tells all her friends this lol.. we always flirt but nothing has happend between us excpet some great kissing.i told her about the girl im currently with (but shes not my gf its a weird thing) and all that.. ive always had a thing for this girl. i think shes really pretty she has an amazing!! sense of humor smart and all that stuff that i like in a girl..i took her to my senior prom. but i hate to say this but shes kind of a slut..i know its mean of me to say i wouldnt call her that if it wasnt true. she doesnt want to settle down with anybody, she mess's around with random guys and shes been with a couple of my friends ( i dont date anybody that has been with a friend of mine weather she was gf or a fuck buddy..i just dont like that).. so its like i like you but there are a lot things that i dont like ..its a weird feeling for me..maybe when she matures and gets a little older she'll be the one for me who knows but shes a great friend i love her dearly for that.. but it was really nice to have some hot girl wake me up lol.shes cool people
so the other half of my day. im driving home from work when i get a call from my old best friend virginia.. shes like 12 weeks pregnant from her jealous bf and now there getting married in april. so hearing shes getting married kind of bums me out cause ive always had a thing for her. it was mutal and all that, ive talked about it before. but she says she was on the way to my house cause she wanted to give me a pic of me and her and just wanted to see me and talk. so she says she wants me to have the pic because shes moving out with her bf and doesnt think she should take it with her, im sure it was a good guester but it hurt me. i thought to my self like dude we were best friends for sooooo fucking long and your bf cant handle seeing you with another friend. wtf?!?! like he doesnt even know me and her were such good friends for so long. and he was a friend of mine! well i wouldnt say friend but an acuitance i guess. we know each other were cool with each other, we have all the same friends we even went tagging together a few times. like we know each other you know. but he has no idea about me and her. and then she says when they go get married that there both gonna have 3 friends present. hes gonna have his 3 friends. which i know all of them and chill with them all the time. more than he does. and shes gonna have 3 friends from her school.. that kind of hurt to. we once even said how we would have to be at each others weddings if we didnt end up getting married to each other. fuck i hate jealous ass bf's!! like fuck me and this girl were sooooooo fucking close it was weird. so im not gonna be able to see her have her first born or be at her wedding. that just seriously bummed me out. i guess im just a bitch. its like yeah me and her hooked up, messed around or whatever but i have fucking respect!! im not gonna try to steal her away while shes with some other guy. if shes happy im happy and im dead serious about that. but i guess it kind of hurts that shes going along with it, that she could kind of just blow me off for some guy. whenever i had a gf me and her still saw each other EVERYDAY! talked on the phone EVERYDAY! etc.. she was the saame way with her bf's back then .. i know things change and people do and we all move on but i never thought i would lose my best friend completely. i would understand if we didnt hang out as much or talked as much or so on. but to just lose contact completely realy fucking sucks..im such a bitch! hahaha but yeah that was my day. heres the pic she gave me.
i edited it a little hahaha i guess im just bitter or something
.chris
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It totally blows that this is happening and what not. Especially about Virginia.. because I know what it's like to be put on the back burner, trust me.
But my boyfriends absolute best friend is his ex.
They were best friends for a long time, dated, and then realized that it wouldn't work.
You don't know how uncomfortable that makes me..
because the first thought is...
"well one of them still has to have feelings for the other."
Then that racks at your brain, etc, etc.
I do it all the time.
trust me i know how you feel, my best friend since i was a kid also happens to be my aunt (my mom's little sister) who is one year younger than me. we have drifted apart down to just emailing because she only hangs out with her older asshole jerk bf. he doesnt like her to hang out with ANYONE except him, male or female, and even tho i'm related to her, he sees me as a threat for the simple fact that i take her away from him for even one hour to have dinner. im so sure like im going to take her out and make her cheat or something? what an idiot. but anyway not meaning to go off on a tangent for myself, back to relating to your situation, all i do is try and keep in touch as much as possible because i care about her still, as do you, so i suggest you try and do the same, at least tell her you want to still keep in touch some way. cos its horrible to not even know whats up with people you care about. but i know its not all up to you, it's her too, but the way i see it is we have no place to tell them who they should listen to or how they should act...i guess it's sometimes up to fate whether these people we care about will again see the light and say Hey WTF am i doing with my life here, shutting people out who love me? but until they realize that for themselves, if we badger them about it and how unfair it is, it seems to only push them or frighten them back to the jerks they are with. Stay loving and strong, and do yr best to never become bitter about it, i know its hard but it only keeps you hurting for the long run. i try to just cherish all the happy times together and know i will always have my love for them.
[Edited on Jan 18, 2005 11:54AM]