weeja

ok time for a new post .
Happy birthday to me ,happy 35th philippe .
today was ok considering the fact that two days ago i had both my mum and sister's funeral's . Am just taking it day by day , moment by moment . i find myself swinging from ok to crap to angry to crying to ok alot .

I have my son with me so that is fantastic and he keeps telling me it's going to be ok and that he loves me lots and lots . i love the pure honesty of a five year old . Am so glad that he had a great relationship with both my parents and my sister . Weird that he has handled it very grown up like . last year when my dad died suddenly of a stroke he was very comforting and now that his nanna and aunty nat went together he is acting the same and bringing up all the fun things that they did together . he is such a old soul ..

Had my first real meal today as i have not wanted to eat , think i was just to sick / shock to put food in my stomach . i guess that when i was in china i was acting on pure adrenaline and now that i'm home and funeral is over i'm kind of waking up and realising that this is real ...

have now got to cats (very cute) to look after as they were my mums , Lui is very happy about this and so am i actually ..

Want to thank those of you that sent messages of concern and empathy , it really means alot to me !!!!!!!