webigailboop

i am so paranoid i swear i hate it so much. i hate being scared that you don't make your significant other happy just because you're scared and have been hurt in the past, it's the worst feeling in the world. eventhough chris tells me that i make him the happiest and that i mean everything to him and that i'm the greatest i still have days when i'm scared that i don't make him happy. or that i do make him happy but that he will get so upset about the bullshit at his job that he will forget that. god, i wish i wasn't so god damn paranoid. what's wrong with me? why can't i have a little confidence in myself in my relationship? i know that we are great together and that he loves me and that we are happy, but sometimes i think maybe it's too good to be true i guess. i would just feel so much better about everything if i could see him more often than once a week. i am so jealous of people that go to the same school as their significant other or that live with them or whatever. it just isn't fair. it's so hard sometimes to be sure of my relationship because we don't live in the same city currently because of my college. it makes me so sad . i'm really just looking forward to going home this weekend and spending some quality time with him. how can i stop being so paranoid? it drives me crazy .

listening to: "polar opposites" modest mouse
reading: my outline for my american lit essay