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webigailboop

Member Since 2003

Followers 22 Following 11

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Monday Oct 06, 2003

Oct 6, 2003
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his depression and negativity is contagious. it consumes me, eats me up. i can't fight it. he won't let me. it's killing me, it's killing him, it's killing us. i can't take what i did away, but i can't make him forget. he won't stop thinking about it. it overwhelms him. such pain, such sorrow, such madness. i don't know what to do. he can't forget it, he can't stop thinking about it.

i tell him the truth but he doesn't believe me. i'm giving my all, my best. what more can i do? what more can i do? i'm screaming at the top of my lungs WHAT MORE CAN I DO!?!?!!!

i would give anything for him. i would do anything to make this right, to make it go away. our love is stronger than this, i know it. we can make it, we will make it. i won't give up, i won't let him give up. i need him. there is no life without him. i don't want to be with anyone else.

i can't think. i can't concentrate. i can't get anything done for school. i'm so behind. but i can't get anything done. i can't focus. i can't stay sane.

he is my everything. my one and only. my other half. i want to spend the rest of my life with him. i want the house and the 2.4 kids and the dog and the cat and the routines of growing old together. we were made for each other. i know that in the pits of my soul.

i'm so optimistic about all this. i know that we can get through this. i try to make him smile, to make him laugh, to make him happy. and sometimes it works. we still do have amazing times. good times. happy times. but then he becomes so paranoid that i'm not being true. he's so convinced in him mind about the way things are, when he couldn't be further from the truth. he misunderstands and misinterprets everything i do or say in the wrong way. he's so pessimistic about it all. i don't know what to do.

my heart is broken. i'm shattered. i'm in pieces.

i almost lost him yesterday, maybe i did, i don't know. he doesn't think we can make it. he can't take it anymore. i know we can make it though. if he just stops looking at things from his negative filter. things will get better, just give me another chance. a real chance, seeing things with new eyes. seeing things as they really are. seeing me. i'm still me. i would still die for him. i would give anything and everything for him.

someone help me. tell me how to make it better. what do i say? what are the right words to say to make it better? i'm not going to lose him. i made some mistakes, and i'm paying for them every day. i haven't had a day in two months without crying about what i did and it's consequences.

maybe what he needs is just time away from me. i'm leaving it up to him to call me. he needs time, and i'll give it to him if that's what he needs. i'll give him anything he wants. i'll do anything. i just don't want him to give up. i'll never give up.

please, i'm begging you. my heart is broken. please tell me how to make this better. what can i say to him to get him to see how desperate i am for him. to see how much i love him.

how do i make it right? help me please. i'm begging you. i need any asvice i can get.

frown puke shelley frown puke
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
radiobastet:
Aw sweetie.... {{{{hugs}}}}}

Have you thought about seeing a counselor? Sometimes talking about things with a neutral third party is easier, especially a professional. Of course, it only works if you BOTH go. That's the best thing I can think of right now. If you're willing to put up one hell of a fight, it's got to be mediated; otherwise one or both of you may do something you will truly, honestly regret and there will be no going back. Please think about it, dear heart. You both deserve it. I'm sending positive energy your way.

kiss kiss kiss kiss
Oct 10, 2003
tiamat:
oh pumpkin it makes me so sad to hear you like this. you deserve happiness. if it is mean't to be it will work itself out. my last girlfriend and i had so many troubles. so many. it was the most unhealthy situation i have ever encountered. i broke up with her and regretted it everyday for a year. we got back together for 2 days and i realized why it couldn't work. i couldn't stand to be near her anymore. sometimes you just have to accept it. however, i have read such wonderful things about you and chris and i think they surpass any difficulty you are experiencing right now. you will work through it if you are supposed to. patience and communication. it is hard when the other person won't listen to how you are feeling but sometimes the time just isn't right.
kiss
Oct 15, 2003

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