webigailboop

his depression and negativity is contagious. it consumes me, eats me up. i can't fight it. he won't let me. it's killing me, it's killing him, it's killing us. i can't take what i did away, but i can't make him forget. he won't stop thinking about it. it overwhelms him. such pain, such sorrow, such madness. i don't know what to do. he can't forget it, he can't stop thinking about it.

i tell him the truth but he doesn't believe me. i'm giving my all, my best. what more can i do? what more can i do? i'm screaming at the top of my lungs WHAT MORE CAN I DO!?!?!!!

i would give anything for him. i would do anything to make this right, to make it go away. our love is stronger than this, i know it. we can make it, we will make it. i won't give up, i won't let him give up. i need him. there is no life without him. i don't want to be with anyone else.

i can't think. i can't concentrate. i can't get anything done for school. i'm so behind. but i can't get anything done. i can't focus. i can't stay sane.

he is my everything. my one and only. my other half. i want to spend the rest of my life with him. i want the house and the 2.4 kids and the dog and the cat and the routines of growing old together. we were made for each other. i know that in the pits of my soul.

i'm so optimistic about all this. i know that we can get through this. i try to make him smile, to make him laugh, to make him happy. and sometimes it works. we still do have amazing times. good times. happy times. but then he becomes so paranoid that i'm not being true. he's so convinced in him mind about the way things are, when he couldn't be further from the truth. he misunderstands and misinterprets everything i do or say in the wrong way. he's so pessimistic about it all. i don't know what to do.

my heart is broken. i'm shattered. i'm in pieces.

i almost lost him yesterday, maybe i did, i don't know. he doesn't think we can make it. he can't take it anymore. i know we can make it though. if he just stops looking at things from his negative filter. things will get better, just give me another chance. a real chance, seeing things with new eyes. seeing things as they really are. seeing me. i'm still me. i would still die for him. i would give anything and everything for him.

someone help me. tell me how to make it better. what do i say? what are the right words to say to make it better? i'm not going to lose him. i made some mistakes, and i'm paying for them every day. i haven't had a day in two months without crying about what i did and it's consequences.

maybe what he needs is just time away from me. i'm leaving it up to him to call me. he needs time, and i'll give it to him if that's what he needs. i'll give him anything he wants. i'll do anything. i just don't want him to give up. i'll never give up.

please, i'm begging you. my heart is broken. please tell me how to make this better. what can i say to him to get him to see how desperate i am for him. to see how much i love him.

how do i make it right? help me please. i'm begging you. i need any asvice i can get.

shelley