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weatherpunk

Fussa-shi

Member Since 2008

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Tuesday Oct 27, 2009

Oct 27, 2009
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I was talking very briefly to my best friend (a woman; don't see that often with a straight guy/straight gal) and she was sort of short with me. I was trying a bit to keep some small-talk going & see what was new with her, and she just came at me with a gush of complaints about me.

We had a nice visit during her birthday weekend, where I casually tested the waters to see if there was any change in her feelings for me since our last time together almost 3 years ago. Seeing that we were just friends, and that the ship sailed (if it was ever even in port) I let it go & continued on my merry way. Vacation after all, right? Fast-forward to tonight, just over a week later, and she claims I was a jerk to her during the last meal we shared the night before I left town. I recall eating, having 2 beers & a mixed drink over the course of a night, and basically treating her like I treat all of my friends. Her brother stopped in at the bar, and we all hung out for a little while before he took off & she took me back to my hotel. I thanked her (yet again) for a nice, relaxing weekend, gave her a hug, and went into my room alone; that was the last time I saw her.

I met a girl here in town a few days later, and after hanging out with her Friday, and on a date Monday, I have plans to do dinner again this Thursday. I mentioned on my Facebook I saw a great date-movie with my date last night, and then today my best friend comes at me with accusations of being a jerk over a week ago.

I visited her with the intent to simply enjoy a weekend in a new community, see where she grew up. Met a handful of her friends, had a good time, and believed that we settled the issue of "us" with a rock-solid "We're friends, and that's it." I wasn't so invested, so I continue to live the footloose & fancy-free lifestyle I always do, and after going on a date, my next contact with my BF is that I was a jerk to her. No signals from her that she was interested AT ALL during the weekend, so I didn't go after her. I go on a date with another woman, and I'm a jerk out of left field.

I literally was going out of my way to be polite, friendly, and make the best of impressions on EVERYONE (her friends, family, and reinforcing my rapport with her) so I know it wasn't what I did while in town. I am thinking of chalking it up to: A) A bad day & I happened to be standing dead-center in the emotional highway. B) She sat on some feelings for me and didn't give me any hints or signs while I was available. C) She didn't explain to anyone up there that we're only friends & allowed them to form the wrong idea when I visited and was introduced to them.

She's my best friend; I can tell her anything & vice verse. We know each others' strengths & weaknesses, and keep a sharp tab on what we're both doing in life. She knows I was into her in the past, but just sort of let the feeling begin fading because she never seemed to feel the same way mutually. I don't want to be so arrogant as to think she's just a bit jealous that I moved on rather quickly after flat-out asking her if she was dating anyone or interested in any men lately & she answered that she was more focused on getting her life in order these days.

I know her well enough that sometimes she simply just wants space from others & sort of pushes us all away for a bit. This is probably that and nothing more. She's a great friend to me really up until this point, so I don't plan to leave her on the side of the road. Just sort of confused because I don't really know what brought this on, and she knows that I hate having stuff drop in my lap with no apparent reason. I certainly can't ask her right now because I told her I'd back off until she calmed down a bit. We're talking a week or two, minimum.

I consider someone a friend who HAPPENS to be attractive, but treat her like a friend regardless. I go out on a date, have a great time, and I'm a jerk. I know I can't be a jerk because I would have been kicked to the curb a LONG time ago if I was. She's not friends with jerks, but she sure dates them in her recent dating history. Based on her past behavior, I'd have a pretty sure feeling if it was something I did.

I just miss my best friend, and who do you talk to when that is the person who's upset with you? frown

'punk

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