It's completely weird in my life right now. I'm single now for over a year, sober for 2, and haven't had a cigarette for 3 years. I woke up and decided that trying to run a race toward the grave was a foolish and mainly painful endeavor. I told myself changes had to happen. That an amazing life with an amazing woman began with me.
I just thought I knew what pain was. Facing a life I've let happen and all the decisions and relationships I've made while under the influence has been more painful than any break up, fight, or meager time I've ever experienced. I know one thing for sure; this will not stand. I will have an amazing life and there will be an amazing woman in it. Not just an amazing woman but amazing people. No more drunkards and half assers. No more bullshitters that can't do half of what they claim but judge others that try and come up short. No more settling and no more copping out on myself.
I guess the most painful part of this process has been discovering I've become the exact opposite of what I want in life and can't be surprised anymore why 'AMAZING' hasn't come into my life to stay.
I just thought I knew what pain was. Facing a life I've let happen and all the decisions and relationships I've made while under the influence has been more painful than any break up, fight, or meager time I've ever experienced. I know one thing for sure; this will not stand. I will have an amazing life and there will be an amazing woman in it. Not just an amazing woman but amazing people. No more drunkards and half assers. No more bullshitters that can't do half of what they claim but judge others that try and come up short. No more settling and no more copping out on myself.
I guess the most painful part of this process has been discovering I've become the exact opposite of what I want in life and can't be surprised anymore why 'AMAZING' hasn't come into my life to stay.