waxangel

I think I finally figured out the basis of my ongoing beef with Kiefer Sutherland. He plays the baddest of baddies in the Lost Boys. This was a major influence in my formative years. I've never liked him since. I won't watch 24. I've never cared for his movies. I even was engaged to one of his cousins, yet, still, of the Sutherlands, I'm a Donald man, not a Kiefer fan.

So, Kiefer, wherever you may be...I still wish upon you a little Death by Stereo action. Dick.




So, yeah, speaking of being engaged to a Kiefer cousin (they were never exactly close, we had dinner with Donald once), this has been reappearing in my life lately, mostly in the form of oddly realistic dreams. For those of you that don't know, Tara and I were together for many years, and things ended in a way that left me homeless, loveless, and jobless, and basically put me into a low, low position in my life that I'm just now working my way out of and into my own. Somehow, Tara and I remained the best of friends, though I'm often not sure if it is the best thing for either of us. We continued sleeping together for nearly two years, even after she moved in with her new boyfriend, even though we both knew it wasn't the smartest thing for either of us to be doing.

At one point, I convinced myself that I was completely over it all, that I had moved on, considered Tara just a great friend, and that the sex was just that, amazing sex, and the fact that it was so amazing was the reason we couldn't seem to stop doing it. It sure seemed reasonable, there are plenty of people I know better than to sleep with that I still do because the sex is too hot for either of us to let go.

I'm no longer sure that that is the case. In fact, I've been dreaming about Tara quite often lately, and waking up both elated and confused, not sure yet what's real and what was the ephemera of dreams. There's no denying we still have a special, unique bond that noone else has ever shared. Yet, I can't say that, given the chance, I would even consider being back together with her. I mean, it's certainly hard to trust someone who's been cheating on her live-in boyfriend with you for the past 2 years.

Who knows? Who knows what this all means. Fact is, I also had a dream last night about one of my cute roommates who kind of gets on my nerves. But I'd totally still let her know why pillows are also for biting.

I don't know. I think I'm craving companionship, closeness, that feeling of a special connection shared between two people.


All of which doesn't mean that Valentine's Day can't still kiss my pale white ass.