I'm just gonna go out there and say it, I fucking hate my birthday. And this next bit is going to sound selfish so bare with me. Nothing happens, even if I try to plan something nothing happens and it makes me feel so unwanted or unloved, not to mention the amount of nothing I get. Example: For my sisters birthday this year she was given a $300 + gift... I got a $20 gift card. Thanks, make me feel sooo wanted :/ . Anyway it's in 4 days (the 15th) and I'm expecting the same crap as always. You'd think I'd have gotten used to this by now, but hey I can still hope right?
School has been interesting. I'm currently in pre-production for my own short 3 min film I will be shooting in a couple weeks which is exciting and with a couple of exceptions I have a great crew for it. There are two crew members that have been increasingly more and more bitter toward the project and it's not like they've done much for it. So thats a thing. I've also been writing like a mad man, I've popped out a feature film script, the 3 min script, a short film script, I'm working on a side project (T.v. / Web series) and my buddy and I want to write something together so I'm pretty busy with that. On top of it I've got all of my post sound work coming up. We're just getting our fine cuts this week so me and my sound team can sit down and get to it. But for me, Sound work is always fun. Lastly one the school front I should be starting my internship this week!~
Now for the personal shit. I hate this time of year, the whole winter blues mixed with me dreading my birthday is never a good mix and puts me in the worst moods and out of no where. Which is not fun, at all. I'm usually fine after the 15th so here's hoping thats still a thing, but it's gotten me thinking about where I am in my personal life and I"m not sure if I'm happy with it. I'm still with the same girl as before but things are really rocky, I'm not sure what to do about it considering we live together. I'm at another "I have no idea what to do" moment and I'd like to know.
One last thing. For years now I've had a habit of saying "I want to go home" and thing is I can be at my apartment, or at my parent's place and it's still there. It all comes back to I've never really felt like I've belonged, which is one of the reason I have my wings. I'm getting to the point where I'm sick of saying that, I'm sick of not belonging, but once again I don't know what to do.
Well Thanks for reading to who ever actually read this thing. I'll try to get back in the habit of this.
Cheers
Waven.