Soooooo, for the weekend I went up to Rangeley, Maine, up near the Canadian border. Even the ride up is beautiful.
Im a total sucker for critters, and on the way up I saw a turtle in the middle of the road. We pulled over and lo and beholda big ol snapping turtle. I thought about picking him up, so I gingerly reached for the sides of his shell and quickly found out why theyre called snapping turtles. They have this Jack-in-the-box motion thats pretty fucking scary if youre not expecting it. So Im in the middle of route 4, trying not to get hit by passing cars. I have an old faded wool blanket in the back of my car which I tossed over him and then tried to get him turned over. Still scary, really. As Im reaching for the blanket Im wondering if he can bite through the blanket and latch onto my finger. Finally I get him up, hammock style, and bring him to the side of the road facing the pond. But does he just waddle on down to the water? No-oooooo, he just hunkers down. So I use an umbrella to try and roll him down the hill. *SNAP* He gets a hold of it and doesnt want to let go. So I go for the blanket approach, again, and carried him down to the pond. Spa-loosh, hes back home. The whole time I sort of felt like an asshole, like how the fuck do I know what this turtle wants.
I think the thought dialogue went something like this:
Turtle: Crossing the road, crossing the road.
Me: Damn, youre going to get squashed. Let me help you.
Turtle: Dont you be messing with my shit! Rowargh! *SNAP, SNAP*
Me: Okay, maybe I wont help you. Wait! Blanket!
Turtle: This is NOT cool. Im so not grooving on the upside down thing.
Me: Okay, off to your little pond now.
Turtle: Crossing the road, crossing the road.
Me: You dumbass! What? Do you have a deathwish?
Turtle: Hey, its that asshole with the blanket again. What the hell does he want?
Me: My fingers are not hors douevres, please dont eat one. I like my toes, too.
Turtle: Here we go again. Wait a second. Isnt this my pond?
Ive also posted some ultra-exciting moose pics. Cool or what? The eyes are the coolest part, which is, of course, you know, the reason only the eyes are showing. The rest of the moose is really over-rated.
(okay, so I can't find the moose pics, but all you're missing are these crazy, reflected Satan moose eyes)
As always, I like to end with a question so my posting isnt a one-way street. Its a tried and true question, but still good fun and fits with todays theme:
If you could be any critter (besides a human), what would you be and why?
Im a total sucker for critters, and on the way up I saw a turtle in the middle of the road. We pulled over and lo and beholda big ol snapping turtle. I thought about picking him up, so I gingerly reached for the sides of his shell and quickly found out why theyre called snapping turtles. They have this Jack-in-the-box motion thats pretty fucking scary if youre not expecting it. So Im in the middle of route 4, trying not to get hit by passing cars. I have an old faded wool blanket in the back of my car which I tossed over him and then tried to get him turned over. Still scary, really. As Im reaching for the blanket Im wondering if he can bite through the blanket and latch onto my finger. Finally I get him up, hammock style, and bring him to the side of the road facing the pond. But does he just waddle on down to the water? No-oooooo, he just hunkers down. So I use an umbrella to try and roll him down the hill. *SNAP* He gets a hold of it and doesnt want to let go. So I go for the blanket approach, again, and carried him down to the pond. Spa-loosh, hes back home. The whole time I sort of felt like an asshole, like how the fuck do I know what this turtle wants.
I think the thought dialogue went something like this:
Turtle: Crossing the road, crossing the road.
Me: Damn, youre going to get squashed. Let me help you.
Turtle: Dont you be messing with my shit! Rowargh! *SNAP, SNAP*
Me: Okay, maybe I wont help you. Wait! Blanket!
Turtle: This is NOT cool. Im so not grooving on the upside down thing.
Me: Okay, off to your little pond now.
Turtle: Crossing the road, crossing the road.
Me: You dumbass! What? Do you have a deathwish?
Turtle: Hey, its that asshole with the blanket again. What the hell does he want?
Me: My fingers are not hors douevres, please dont eat one. I like my toes, too.
Turtle: Here we go again. Wait a second. Isnt this my pond?
Ive also posted some ultra-exciting moose pics. Cool or what? The eyes are the coolest part, which is, of course, you know, the reason only the eyes are showing. The rest of the moose is really over-rated.
(okay, so I can't find the moose pics, but all you're missing are these crazy, reflected Satan moose eyes)
As always, I like to end with a question so my posting isnt a one-way street. Its a tried and true question, but still good fun and fits with todays theme:
If you could be any critter (besides a human), what would you be and why?
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*kiss*
Gray