For fucks sake
In case you care this man is protesting EA's new game Dante's Inferno. He's concerned that it glorifies Hell and in turn Satan. A noble cause but one that contains a massive flaw, there is no Hell or Satan to glorify. Both are as nonexistent as every other religious/mythological depiction of evil.
I am puzzled why he's not protesting the slightly older print version of Dante's Inferno though. Could it be that it's classic of literature and not a lowbrow video game. Could it also be that he's protesting outside E3, possibly the biggest videogame convention of year, knowing full well he's likely to get some press? Or at least a picture on someone's Facebook probably captioned with the irritating contraction "LOL".
Whatever his motives he's using his religious conviction and moral set to tell me what I should do. I believe this entitles me to issue him and his ilk a giant "Fuck right off" memo. I pray for a day when religions are treated in the same way as fairy tales, it's a good story but please don't ask us to take them (or you) seriously.
Condolences go to the family of David Carradine. I've never seen Kung fu, but he was ace in Death Race and the Kill Bill films. Once again I'm reminded that there's no one to take the place of actors like him, the world is a worse place for his passing.
I'd like to embellish my previous comment; it's an ongoing concern of mine that there are no upcoming action heroes anymore. When Stallone, Willis, Schwarzenegger, hell even Van Damme are gone who are we going to cast in action films? Die Hard 4.0 might have been a bit shit, but Willis was a badass in it. Same goes for the last Rambo film, awful but Stallone kicked ass.
The only film I can think of that comes close to a decent amount of testosterone fuelled carnage was Gladiator. And that was a while ago. Seems nowadays if you want to see some proper action its all down to them being a superhero. Bruce Willis managed to kill a tower of terrorists without even his shoes; I'd like to see Hugh Jackman do that.
Which brings me to Clint Eastwood, he turned 79 this week and I'm convinced he could batter me. Gran Torino might have been a bit silly but Eastwood was a scary presence in it. You would not fuck with that guy. I'd happily urinate on Keanu Reeves missus knowing full well my only injuries would come from laughing at his feeble attempts to attack me.
But there you go. I imagine that 20 years ago someone was using the proto internet to berate Willis et al for not being as good as Steve McQueen. And they'd be right. At least I won't be the poor bastard 20 years in the future pining for the glory days of Twilight.
Which brings me to Twilight, or as I like to call it "the reason no one under 30 should be asked to ascertain the quality of anything". I've not seen it, but for the same reasons I know hanging around Kabul singing "Fuck Allah!" will be bad for my health I know that Twilight is shit. When was the meeting were everyone decided vampires weren't evil blood sucking bastards but instead perfect boyfriend material because they don't want to (or can't) fuck you?
Shit. I've just realised I'm about to go against Directive 4 of my programming, do not criticise Joss Whedon. That's were it started though, with Angel. To make sure I don't shut down I'll quickly leap to his defence, at least Angel had his reasons. Even when Spike got a soul he could still be an utter bastard. Phew, crisis over.
Lesser writers have jumped on this though, skimmed Interview with the Vampire, listened to some emo music and shat out tales that make scary monsters into sensitive guys. Let's gloss over that sensitive guys are as fictional as vampires for a second though. I get the idea that vampires can be sexy because they're immortal but more importantly because they're dangerous.
Twilight is shit because its vampires after health and safety have visited. I hate to quote The Mighty Boosh, but it's got all the edge of Satsuma (and while we're on the subject, fuck that show).
My conclusion to all this is "Bollocks I'm getting old aren't I? commenting on youth culture and calling it all shit. All I need now is a lawn so I can tell kids to get off it.
Here's some stuff I can be happy about though:
- I'm seeing Brand New in 19 days.
- A Wilhelm Scream and Rise Against are back over here in the autumn.
- This
I do enjoy the Final Destination series; they sit outside the nihilistic gore films of the present while still being grisly. Each one has been inventive in its execution, but more importantly fun. As a bonus this 3rd sequel is in 3D. Can't wait.
- Its a while off but Toy Story 3 is a reason to stay alive.
And that was my witterings for today.
In case you care this man is protesting EA's new game Dante's Inferno. He's concerned that it glorifies Hell and in turn Satan. A noble cause but one that contains a massive flaw, there is no Hell or Satan to glorify. Both are as nonexistent as every other religious/mythological depiction of evil.
I am puzzled why he's not protesting the slightly older print version of Dante's Inferno though. Could it be that it's classic of literature and not a lowbrow video game. Could it also be that he's protesting outside E3, possibly the biggest videogame convention of year, knowing full well he's likely to get some press? Or at least a picture on someone's Facebook probably captioned with the irritating contraction "LOL".
Whatever his motives he's using his religious conviction and moral set to tell me what I should do. I believe this entitles me to issue him and his ilk a giant "Fuck right off" memo. I pray for a day when religions are treated in the same way as fairy tales, it's a good story but please don't ask us to take them (or you) seriously.
Condolences go to the family of David Carradine. I've never seen Kung fu, but he was ace in Death Race and the Kill Bill films. Once again I'm reminded that there's no one to take the place of actors like him, the world is a worse place for his passing.
I'd like to embellish my previous comment; it's an ongoing concern of mine that there are no upcoming action heroes anymore. When Stallone, Willis, Schwarzenegger, hell even Van Damme are gone who are we going to cast in action films? Die Hard 4.0 might have been a bit shit, but Willis was a badass in it. Same goes for the last Rambo film, awful but Stallone kicked ass.
The only film I can think of that comes close to a decent amount of testosterone fuelled carnage was Gladiator. And that was a while ago. Seems nowadays if you want to see some proper action its all down to them being a superhero. Bruce Willis managed to kill a tower of terrorists without even his shoes; I'd like to see Hugh Jackman do that.
Which brings me to Clint Eastwood, he turned 79 this week and I'm convinced he could batter me. Gran Torino might have been a bit silly but Eastwood was a scary presence in it. You would not fuck with that guy. I'd happily urinate on Keanu Reeves missus knowing full well my only injuries would come from laughing at his feeble attempts to attack me.
But there you go. I imagine that 20 years ago someone was using the proto internet to berate Willis et al for not being as good as Steve McQueen. And they'd be right. At least I won't be the poor bastard 20 years in the future pining for the glory days of Twilight.
Which brings me to Twilight, or as I like to call it "the reason no one under 30 should be asked to ascertain the quality of anything". I've not seen it, but for the same reasons I know hanging around Kabul singing "Fuck Allah!" will be bad for my health I know that Twilight is shit. When was the meeting were everyone decided vampires weren't evil blood sucking bastards but instead perfect boyfriend material because they don't want to (or can't) fuck you?
Shit. I've just realised I'm about to go against Directive 4 of my programming, do not criticise Joss Whedon. That's were it started though, with Angel. To make sure I don't shut down I'll quickly leap to his defence, at least Angel had his reasons. Even when Spike got a soul he could still be an utter bastard. Phew, crisis over.
Lesser writers have jumped on this though, skimmed Interview with the Vampire, listened to some emo music and shat out tales that make scary monsters into sensitive guys. Let's gloss over that sensitive guys are as fictional as vampires for a second though. I get the idea that vampires can be sexy because they're immortal but more importantly because they're dangerous.
Twilight is shit because its vampires after health and safety have visited. I hate to quote The Mighty Boosh, but it's got all the edge of Satsuma (and while we're on the subject, fuck that show).
My conclusion to all this is "Bollocks I'm getting old aren't I? commenting on youth culture and calling it all shit. All I need now is a lawn so I can tell kids to get off it.
Here's some stuff I can be happy about though:
- I'm seeing Brand New in 19 days.
- A Wilhelm Scream and Rise Against are back over here in the autumn.
- This
I do enjoy the Final Destination series; they sit outside the nihilistic gore films of the present while still being grisly. Each one has been inventive in its execution, but more importantly fun. As a bonus this 3rd sequel is in 3D. Can't wait.
- Its a while off but Toy Story 3 is a reason to stay alive.
And that was my witterings for today.