30 Days of Night: A Review
Utter utter shit. Not scary, not gory, not anything that constitutes a horror movie. I'll whittle down the problems into some bullet points.
- The story is driven by one of the characters doing something stupid that gets themselves killed. This device is then repeated unitl the film ends.
- The survivors of the intial massacre go and hide in a loft of someones house. Good choice out of sight and has only one small entrance to defend. Then they decide to hide in the Police Station, but when I say hide I mean sit in front a of door in plain sight of any vampires that might be passing. Yet they go unnoticed for two weeks.
- The vampires are the worst antongonists I've seen in a movie for some time. Unless you run into one due to your own stupidity your pretty safe. Not once do you get the impression that the survivors are in any real peril, cos the vamps DON'T EVER BOTHER TO GO LOOKING FOR THEM! EVER! At no point do you even get the impression that the vampires even know there are any survivors. When they do run into each other the bloodsuckers react like the guards in Metal Gear Solid, instantly forgetting the humans as soon as they cant see them.
- Its boring. The comic book compresses thirty days into a twenty minute read. The movie is over ninety minutes. As I mentioned until someone does something needlessly stupid nothing happens. The characters realise they cant defeat the vampires, but dont realise that if they just stay put they are perfectly safe.
- The internal logic of the film is all over the place. Its made clear early on that bullets cant hurt the vampires, except for the instances when they can if you shoot the bastards in the face. There's a moment of post modernism were someone points out that things that work in a vampire movie wont work in real life. WE'RE WATCHING A FUCKING VAMPIRE MOVIE! YOU'RE IN A FUCKING VAMPIRE MOVIE! I can buy the ironic posturing in something like "Scream" because a maniac killing people with a knife could happen. Hordes of supernatural creatures attacking an Alaskan town is a bit more unlikely, so therefore trying to create a sense of realism is a bit pointless. That'd be like coming up with an explanation for the force by saying its caused by something called midiclorines and therefore ruining any sense of mystery and wonder.
- If want to create tension you have to create something for us to worry about. There has to be a reason why we care about the characters and dont want them to die. They only effort the filmmakers go to with this is the relationship between Harnett and his wife(?) Mellissa George. They've split up and I guess this crisis is supposed to bring them closer. This is hampered by the fact neither of them seems concerned with a reunion and their chemistry is as cold as the snow on the ground. Everyone else in the cast exists purely as a potential vamp snack.
- Theres no conclusion. Dawn breaks on the thirtieth day and the vampires leave. I found myself pondering as to wear they went. They've burnt the town to the ground and the nearest collection of dwellings is eighty miles away. Given that the rapidly rising sun will kill them and theres no shelter it seems they've shot themselves in the foot.
In conclusion (and trust me this is scratching the surface) I hate this movie. I hated the directors last movie as well. I'd like to get everyone involved in this film and drive them over a cliff like that bit in 300. And I want my seven quid back please.
Utter utter shit. Not scary, not gory, not anything that constitutes a horror movie. I'll whittle down the problems into some bullet points.
- The story is driven by one of the characters doing something stupid that gets themselves killed. This device is then repeated unitl the film ends.
- The survivors of the intial massacre go and hide in a loft of someones house. Good choice out of sight and has only one small entrance to defend. Then they decide to hide in the Police Station, but when I say hide I mean sit in front a of door in plain sight of any vampires that might be passing. Yet they go unnoticed for two weeks.
- The vampires are the worst antongonists I've seen in a movie for some time. Unless you run into one due to your own stupidity your pretty safe. Not once do you get the impression that the survivors are in any real peril, cos the vamps DON'T EVER BOTHER TO GO LOOKING FOR THEM! EVER! At no point do you even get the impression that the vampires even know there are any survivors. When they do run into each other the bloodsuckers react like the guards in Metal Gear Solid, instantly forgetting the humans as soon as they cant see them.
- Its boring. The comic book compresses thirty days into a twenty minute read. The movie is over ninety minutes. As I mentioned until someone does something needlessly stupid nothing happens. The characters realise they cant defeat the vampires, but dont realise that if they just stay put they are perfectly safe.
- The internal logic of the film is all over the place. Its made clear early on that bullets cant hurt the vampires, except for the instances when they can if you shoot the bastards in the face. There's a moment of post modernism were someone points out that things that work in a vampire movie wont work in real life. WE'RE WATCHING A FUCKING VAMPIRE MOVIE! YOU'RE IN A FUCKING VAMPIRE MOVIE! I can buy the ironic posturing in something like "Scream" because a maniac killing people with a knife could happen. Hordes of supernatural creatures attacking an Alaskan town is a bit more unlikely, so therefore trying to create a sense of realism is a bit pointless. That'd be like coming up with an explanation for the force by saying its caused by something called midiclorines and therefore ruining any sense of mystery and wonder.
- If want to create tension you have to create something for us to worry about. There has to be a reason why we care about the characters and dont want them to die. They only effort the filmmakers go to with this is the relationship between Harnett and his wife(?) Mellissa George. They've split up and I guess this crisis is supposed to bring them closer. This is hampered by the fact neither of them seems concerned with a reunion and their chemistry is as cold as the snow on the ground. Everyone else in the cast exists purely as a potential vamp snack.
- Theres no conclusion. Dawn breaks on the thirtieth day and the vampires leave. I found myself pondering as to wear they went. They've burnt the town to the ground and the nearest collection of dwellings is eighty miles away. Given that the rapidly rising sun will kill them and theres no shelter it seems they've shot themselves in the foot.
In conclusion (and trust me this is scratching the surface) I hate this movie. I hated the directors last movie as well. I'd like to get everyone involved in this film and drive them over a cliff like that bit in 300. And I want my seven quid back please.
mistress_paine:
Does josh harnett live? lol xx