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warrenellis

Southend-On-Sea, Essex, Bloody England

Member Since 2005

Followers 268 Following 180

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Tuesday Sep 27, 2005

Sep 27, 2005
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You know those Urban Legends people? Where someone tells you a story about someone they've heard about, and you say, bullshit, that's an urban legend? I've met most of those people. I was listening to an old Terence McKenna lecture earlier tonight, and I was reminded of one of them.

Back in '87, pre-rave culture, there wasn't a lot of acid in my area, and what was around was crappy blotter acid. A lot of weak, sub-psychedelic stuff, and a fair amount of bad stuff too. I lived in this horrifying house on the seafront red light district, right on the corner where the sandrats (old London term for seaside prostitutes) worked, and the guy in the room next to me had the full Reliving His Birth And Not In A Good Way experience on some bad acid.

(I'm just thankful he didn't give any to the apparition who lived upstairs, The Retarded Epileptic Wrestler With Three Toes In Total.)

But he's not the guy I'm thinking about.

I'm thinking about the guy who hung around on the periphery of the Young Christian Hippies, who were classic set-and-setting acidheads out of Huxley -- which is to say, they were middle-class wankers who enjoyed fucking with your head while ostensibly "creating the correct situation so you can trip." The guy let them work on his head, and then bought some acid off someone else and decided to drop it on his own.

His load wasn't sub-psychedelic. And it was very probably bad. And he was thick as shit to start off with, frankly. And he tripped good and hard. And bugger me if Jesus didn't turn up.

The guy offended Jesus in some way. I mean, he was a funny-looking bastard anyway. In any case, Jesus didn't take to him, and Jesus asked him to do a thing.

You know what a Stanley knife is? Short-bladed work knife in a steel handle, most often used in the Eighties to mutilate opposing fans at football matches.

That's right. This guy is The Guy Who Took Acid And Then Hacked His Own Penis Off With A Stanley Knife For Jesus.

Made such a mess of it, in fact, that it could not be reattached. It would have been like trying to make one whole sausage after it'd been gnawed through by rats.

After he came down and, you know, had his cock-stump sewn off and stuff, he was of course mad as arseholes. And could still be found, a couple of years later, yelling at trees and random clumps of dogshit about Jesus. No idea what happened to him in the end.

Funny, the things I find myself remembering late at night.

And people wonder why I write the books I write.

-- W
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
ampersand:
Hey Warren, just wanted to say I loved issue #1 of Fell. To be honest, I only heard about you recently, and that was just cause ChrisSick kept going on about you.

So I see Fell, written by the guy that Chris loves, and it's only $4 AUS (regular titles are usually more like $5.60 AUS), so I think 'what the hey', and picked it up.

A great story, but I also loved the sentiment of it. A purposely cheap, budget title. It has a great aesthetic. Really looking forward to #2.

That is all. Thank you.
Sep 28, 2005
boundcreature:
the cover to FELL #2 is fucking gorgeous. the interiors remind me of LAZARUS CHURCHYARD.
Sep 28, 2005

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