warning

I really wish I could get my life figured out. I thought I was well on the way and everything has just seemed to STOP dead in its tracks. I feel like Im falling back into a downward spiral..Im missing things that will syntheticate my emotions just to make all the bullshit in my head stop. I can't create....I am feeling completely insane at times.

I sleep like a full fleged fucking insomniac and I keep having these bouts of rage/extreme depression.

I am a terrible person for the secrets I keep.

I wish it would all fucking just stop....like I could just feel relieved for one second. But I keep piling it all up...I am the master of my own destruction and I feel more and more destroyed every fucking day. Why do I look to the things that will hurt me, it's like I have a conscience imbalance...I don't know wrong from right and I can't seem to pull myself out of negative fucking situations.

Saturday will be wonderful I hope. Im shooting a music video, not really making a big deal out of it though....


SO tired of being tired....