New Profile pic from last weekend out in Boulder. I'm going back there today to go see Fiona Apple with Burnsie.
Sorry about the vagueness of my last journal. Last weekend was quite the stir of emotions. On one hand, things had been going great with J-boy, but on the other I had a sinking sensation that seeing D could/would bring out some feelings from the past. And honestly, when he left I tried to erase those thoughts from my mind. But it didn't work. So I told Jake and we broke up. That saddens me quite a bit, but feelings are feelings and at least I was forthcoming about the whole situation.
At the end of the day, D lives in Wisconsin. We talked extensively about the whole thing and hopefully he can get his act together and move out here. Nothing is set in stone. That was the 100 day benchmark.
I've always felt this way about D, since we were in High School. But we didn't see each other for quite a bit. His Ex had banned him from seeing me when I came home and the such. During those 5-6 years, I missed him, but kept telling myself that he was happy and that's all that mattered. Meanwhile, I was not that poor sap sitting at home, but was instead dating other guys and moving around Wisconsin.
But the truth was that C was a total bitch and my interim communication never said such. In the end, he learned that he could do better and they broke up.
He came to visit for my best friend's reception last weekend, and we just clicked. And honestly, the whole time he was here I just wanted to hang out with him.
And some how, here I am faced with the decision that I broke up with a great guy to just have the slightest chance with someone I've always wanted. Don't get me wrong, it's a strange and wonderful feeling.
***There's the most I can detail for now. I feel like some silly character from a romance novel.***
However, I don't expect any advice, so don't rack your brains. It's all good here.
Sorry about the vagueness of my last journal. Last weekend was quite the stir of emotions. On one hand, things had been going great with J-boy, but on the other I had a sinking sensation that seeing D could/would bring out some feelings from the past. And honestly, when he left I tried to erase those thoughts from my mind. But it didn't work. So I told Jake and we broke up. That saddens me quite a bit, but feelings are feelings and at least I was forthcoming about the whole situation.
At the end of the day, D lives in Wisconsin. We talked extensively about the whole thing and hopefully he can get his act together and move out here. Nothing is set in stone. That was the 100 day benchmark.
I've always felt this way about D, since we were in High School. But we didn't see each other for quite a bit. His Ex had banned him from seeing me when I came home and the such. During those 5-6 years, I missed him, but kept telling myself that he was happy and that's all that mattered. Meanwhile, I was not that poor sap sitting at home, but was instead dating other guys and moving around Wisconsin.
But the truth was that C was a total bitch and my interim communication never said such. In the end, he learned that he could do better and they broke up.
He came to visit for my best friend's reception last weekend, and we just clicked. And honestly, the whole time he was here I just wanted to hang out with him.
And some how, here I am faced with the decision that I broke up with a great guy to just have the slightest chance with someone I've always wanted. Don't get me wrong, it's a strange and wonderful feeling.
***There's the most I can detail for now. I feel like some silly character from a romance novel.***
However, I don't expect any advice, so don't rack your brains. It's all good here.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
erinachan:
love the new pic! and I'm sorry to hear about the boy dillemas. I would say follow your heart but that could be dangerous so I guess all I'll say is I hope it works out sweetie! feel better!
lilamysunshine:
You know, life is short. Do what you want to do. Until you don't want to do it anymore. Then stop.