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warchild

Detroit Rock City

Member Since 2004

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Tuesday Apr 13, 2010

Apr 13, 2010
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Maybe I am behind the times, but I have just been reading the stories at Tucker Max and have been laughing myself to hysterics. I have peed a little, almost puked on myself, and am having problems catching my breath.

Amidst the hilarity, I came upon a story that resembled a SG Halloween Party I went to once many moons ago. It was a goth club in Pittsburgh where the dj's apparently tried to one up each other by playing the most obscure and shitty ass tracks they could find. Needless to say, my idea was if I drank more, it would make the music somehow miraculously get better.

I now quote Tucker Max because its pretty much what happened.......

And I quote....."They sat me in a corner and went back out on the prowl. One or two more drinks later, I decided that I was going to dance. Completely immersed in my indignant self-pity on the dance floor, I found my savior.

In the corner of the club, dancing alone, I found the person that I could trust. I found my one. My soul mate. The person who would never betray me and who would love me forever and never fuck anyone else behind my back without telling me.

This was the most gorgeous person I had ever seen. Piercing blue eyes and sandy blond hair. Great body. A deep, penetrating stare that belied a wisdom and understanding beyond the average person. Great charisma. And we had immediate chemistry.

I danced with them for an hour, giving them seductive looks, coyly flirting with them, seductively telling them how much I cared about them. And they responded to everything I offered by offering it back. Every smile was met with a smile, every caress with an equal response.

In my eyes, I finally found someone that I was in love with.

"I was too drunk to realize this at the time, but my friends were watching me the whole time...and all they saw was me dancing in front of a huge mirror.

With myself.

And no one else within 10 feet of me.

Let me emphasize: I was so drunk, I was dancing WITH MYSELF in the mirror. For AN HOUR. NO ONE was near me." END QUOTE

I still haven't lived this down. To this day, Kira and several others, some of whom were NOT EVEN THERE give me shit about this.

Ahhhh at least I am not alone. Thanks Tucker Max for making me feel better about myself, cause even I am not (and never will be) as much of a douche bag as you are !!!

skullskullskull
tikki:
Love that book.I let Patch borrow it.We from old sg should write our own version.
Apr 13, 2010
shanz:
Aww I thought this was gonna be the PA story!
Apr 25, 2010

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