walstafa

Ok, I've just hit the first snag in my love affair, and as usual, it's completely self-administered.

Turns out my girl's day off work is tomorrow. This usually means she can come through to see me (we live in different cities 50 miles away), but I was supposed to be seeing Converge tonight, so I was hoping that she'd have Thursday off so she'd come through tomorrow night.

I offer to miss the gig so she can still come visit and we both get real excited about this. Then she remembers that she's arranged to meet a friend that night who's having problems getting over his ex. She's not sure what to do, and spends a good hour angsting over this without making a decision. At this point I do the noble thing and tell her to go see him.

This leaves me in a morass of confusion. I know she loves me, and i know she just see's this guy as a friend. However I've also seen this guy's body language and I'm not so sure about him. This immediately raises some primal guy-sense and makes me feel all jealous and insecure. I'm also annoyed she couldn't just decide to see me without all the dithering. And I also feel bad for feeling jealous, because she's just told me about the other jealous, abusive boyfriends she's had and I'm shit-scared of even thinking like one of them.

So basically I'm tearing myself apart here with jealousy and insecurity and then smothering myself with guilt over it.

Is it possible to be too in love with someone, or am I just being an uptight bastard?!!