Sunday, Sept 4th/Monday, Sept 5th.
Late night, early morning.
I've found that the true test of life is not in the events themselves, but in the reaction to the events.
Dear Gods above, I never knew I would ever feel such visceral pain... And after the defiance of my last post written not too long ago, I again swallow my words and try to stomach the want to give up and not choke.
"Blind in ways I'd never realized. I don't mind."
Is there truly such freedom in ignorance?... The only problem is once you've witnessed the truth, you can't go back. No forgetting.
Part of me wishes I'd never met either of them... But part of my life would also be emptier without their presense, regardless of their intentions to keep me in the dark for rather ridiculous reasons.
With all that was said, and the emotion behind the words, he still couldn't, or wouldn't, understand what I was saying. It makes me wonder... Perhaps it was all in my head and I'm being a dick. I don't know. Perhaps they never really cared for me, I couldn't tell. What I feel is real, my truth, and that's all that should matter. It's my life after all. I have to live with myself for the remainder of it... How ever long that shall be.
Damn it, I just wish one of them could've had the stones and a decent amount of respect for me to fucking tell me what was going on rather than wasting over a month of my time still trying to make things work with her when, in fact, they were together.
I hate myself for still loving you both. You're in my blood after all. More apart of me than I wanted, or perhaps that you'll ever care to know. Can't help that... Even if you don't care, I still do. You were my friends. Perhaps last night will be the last I ever see of either of you. Too bad it had such an ending.
Miss you already, you fucking backstabbers,
~ W.W.G.
Late night, early morning.
I've found that the true test of life is not in the events themselves, but in the reaction to the events.
Dear Gods above, I never knew I would ever feel such visceral pain... And after the defiance of my last post written not too long ago, I again swallow my words and try to stomach the want to give up and not choke.
"Blind in ways I'd never realized. I don't mind."
Is there truly such freedom in ignorance?... The only problem is once you've witnessed the truth, you can't go back. No forgetting.
Part of me wishes I'd never met either of them... But part of my life would also be emptier without their presense, regardless of their intentions to keep me in the dark for rather ridiculous reasons.
With all that was said, and the emotion behind the words, he still couldn't, or wouldn't, understand what I was saying. It makes me wonder... Perhaps it was all in my head and I'm being a dick. I don't know. Perhaps they never really cared for me, I couldn't tell. What I feel is real, my truth, and that's all that should matter. It's my life after all. I have to live with myself for the remainder of it... How ever long that shall be.
Damn it, I just wish one of them could've had the stones and a decent amount of respect for me to fucking tell me what was going on rather than wasting over a month of my time still trying to make things work with her when, in fact, they were together.
I hate myself for still loving you both. You're in my blood after all. More apart of me than I wanted, or perhaps that you'll ever care to know. Can't help that... Even if you don't care, I still do. You were my friends. Perhaps last night will be the last I ever see of either of you. Too bad it had such an ending.
Miss you already, you fucking backstabbers,
~ W.W.G.