walker

When you have a lot of time on your hands you do a lot of thinking. In my case it is all about how and when I became such a negative person. The answer I came up with waswell nothing. I couldn't work out when it started to happen. Who knows maybe I have always been negative about everything, but I have a hard time believing at 5 years old I already had a negative attitude toward everything.

Of course your mind never stays on one subject. Once you start thinking about stuff your mind always has a way of wondering. So after awhile I started wondering when I stopped drawing. Not that I was ever any good at it though. I did it just because I liked it and that's all that mattered when I did it. Even if it was just a bunch of random shapes and lines on paper I still liked doing it.

and after thinking about that for a while I started wondering why I never seem to write anything anymore. I used to do it all the time. Hell even got a poem put in to some book for the school district to be passed around to teachers as an example. I know it doesn't mean anything but I felt good about it. Of course from there I remembered I stopped writing and drawing after someone got a hold of my binder of stuff. I got it back and the person that went through it at work never said anything but after that I stopped writing and drawing. Still not sure why.

After about an hour of thinking about this stuff I came back to the same question I started with, why am I so negative. And it is still bugging me that I can't come up with an answer. I guess I go back to thinking about till I work it out. I don't think I am going to be able to start being positive about things till I work out why I am how I am now.