wakeupscreaming

Ok so this is going to be my first looooong Journal post on SG. Its a bit of a venting session so just bear with me.

Ok so lately i have been having a shitty few weeks. First, two weeks before my B-day, my gf of seven months and I decided to break up. She lives in NJ and it is really hard for ust to see each other and its costing us alot of money. Problem is that i still love her alot and it hurts a ton every time i talk to her or moreso when i dont talk to her. I look at her pictures constantly and i just cant get her out of my head. My hope is that when we get things together we can make a better attempt at this. I want to move in with her but i need to get some of my shit together before i can. Like learning how to wake up when i need to get up, and actually motivate myself to do certain things.... like, for instance, practicing my bass and actually getting lessons. Also, i need to get a new job, because mine really sucks. Any ideas for either?

Ok well my birthday was fun, a small ray of sunshine in my otherwise gray skies. But it still was hard because i saw my ex. And since then i havent seen her. Well after that i just went to work and came home for a while, not doing anything really, just existing to the lowest degree i could. I just ate slept and worked. Well on monday i got my ipod stolen by some punk kid on the bus. He grabbed it right out of my GODDAMN hand. I was so pissed i wanted to scream. And its not even really the ipod. Thats a thing, im not gonna fight over a thing. But the fucking thought of him invading my space just fucking makes me so fucking upset. Im just minding my own business, not bothering anyone, and he has to come and just take my shit. Ugh yea so that ruined that day.

And lately i feel like im so secluded from everyone else. Its because i dont drive. Im working on it but for this summer im not going to have the ability to, so im going to have to get around that somehow. Idk i just feel wicked shitty lately. I hope this gets better....