Oh, those were the days:
"But first: do y'all remember that epic night back in '04 on Alexander
Street in Rochester?
You know, the night Blair broke up with Tatianna Mecklenburg (that
bitch) and Aaron fought an off-duty cop until the dude just, like,
slunk away sobbing and shit? And then Mahoney ate six garbage plates
because Brokk "accidently" laced up his clove cigarillo with
Anachraphobia, High Times' Best Bud of 1999? DUUUDE. I wanted to go to
that Korean massage parlor Billy used to work at, but nobody would let
me because I kept threatening to call everyone's mom and blab ("Always
at cross-purposes, Burke," Momo seethed). McKenna wasn't talking to
anybody but her two ex-lesbian friends from Williamsville, who had
been at one of those scary post-gay reeducation camps and kept
drinking Wild Turkey out of styrofoam cups and distractedly pawing at
each other. Yeah, them two. And then Mahoney had to kick over a street
performer's change cup. Shit was tense but settling down when, like a
hurricane, Brokk's out the frat bar bathroom and yelling shit like
"Chuck Norris sperm knuckles!" and flailing his arms at people, and
you know Aaron's always down for a brawl, and Billy's so fucking
irrationally angry about how he missed that Chris Claremont signing
out in Irondequoit he's brandishing his weird homemade knife-tool
(remember that thing he called "Foolspike" he made out of a soup ladle
and carparts?), and I'm whining about how I need to score some shit
from this horrible girl who's legally blind and convinced Kennedy one
time in Gitsi's to eat like 35 Sugar in the Raw packets, and Rojo
hyperventilating about he almost slapped some kid because he shit on
Pennywise's BEST record, and, look, now Blair's crying and not softly,
and Aaron's fighting that cop again except he's too drunk to notice
that some faceless horde is rounding the corner of East Ave and
they're bearing down on us now, flushing us south to Monroe Ave so
bugged out on booze and pills and arguments about comic books that we
can't get out of our own way.
And then Drew steps out from somewhere near the Bug Jar, nursing a
summer brew, going, "You guys are just classic!"
"But first: do y'all remember that epic night back in '04 on Alexander
Street in Rochester?
You know, the night Blair broke up with Tatianna Mecklenburg (that
bitch) and Aaron fought an off-duty cop until the dude just, like,
slunk away sobbing and shit? And then Mahoney ate six garbage plates
because Brokk "accidently" laced up his clove cigarillo with
Anachraphobia, High Times' Best Bud of 1999? DUUUDE. I wanted to go to
that Korean massage parlor Billy used to work at, but nobody would let
me because I kept threatening to call everyone's mom and blab ("Always
at cross-purposes, Burke," Momo seethed). McKenna wasn't talking to
anybody but her two ex-lesbian friends from Williamsville, who had
been at one of those scary post-gay reeducation camps and kept
drinking Wild Turkey out of styrofoam cups and distractedly pawing at
each other. Yeah, them two. And then Mahoney had to kick over a street
performer's change cup. Shit was tense but settling down when, like a
hurricane, Brokk's out the frat bar bathroom and yelling shit like
"Chuck Norris sperm knuckles!" and flailing his arms at people, and
you know Aaron's always down for a brawl, and Billy's so fucking
irrationally angry about how he missed that Chris Claremont signing
out in Irondequoit he's brandishing his weird homemade knife-tool
(remember that thing he called "Foolspike" he made out of a soup ladle
and carparts?), and I'm whining about how I need to score some shit
from this horrible girl who's legally blind and convinced Kennedy one
time in Gitsi's to eat like 35 Sugar in the Raw packets, and Rojo
hyperventilating about he almost slapped some kid because he shit on
Pennywise's BEST record, and, look, now Blair's crying and not softly,
and Aaron's fighting that cop again except he's too drunk to notice
that some faceless horde is rounding the corner of East Ave and
they're bearing down on us now, flushing us south to Monroe Ave so
bugged out on booze and pills and arguments about comic books that we
can't get out of our own way.
And then Drew steps out from somewhere near the Bug Jar, nursing a
summer brew, going, "You guys are just classic!"
x to the o