vulvatron

I wish I'd quit being so bipolar lately. Last night I wanted to rip my hair out, and today I'm happy as a clam. I did get to see the D man which always makes my day a little bit cooler, and we laughed at fat people at the buffet. Not like slightly fat people, but people that are so fat that they look like they're growing a botanical garden on their taint. You know, that front ass thing? Thanks to Dane Cook for that joke, by the way. I'm so unoriginal.

This one girl was so big that her feet were overflowing her flip flops...on the sides. Its not like her toes were long, it was as if her fat had nowhere else to go but around the sides of her feet. It makes me sad because I know how unhappy I am at my weight, I can't imagine how hard it must be being that big. But for christ's sake people, why must you go to a buffet when you're that fat, and not to mention, wearing STRETCHY PANTS! Those pants just highlight your negative areas and let others watch your botanical garden sway from side to side as you walk your 5 children to the restroom.

That's another thing about buffets... All the fucking children. I love kids, don't get me wrong, but it just reminded me that I don't want to have kids for a very...very long time. All the screaming and what not. And what if they turn out like the cross-eyed, underbite looking girl that we saw in a high chair? What a shame that would be.

The night commenced with farts, burps, and a slapping match as we drove home. At one point I was laughing so hard that I couldn't see the road. Very safe I'm sure.

I need to go people watching more often. You never realize how fortunate you are until you see the less fortunate. Yay privilege!

Yay for only 2 more days of work, and only 1 of those days being work that I dread. I love Fridays.