vrulovwrath

This night was diferent (at last). I saw a weird dream, if it was a dream, I think I actualy was even awake and it wasn't a dream at all. One of my favorite things is to be afraid, scared, terified, you know like when you watch a scary movie and it scares you but over the last years I realized that it was becoming more and more dificalt for me to be scared. In the begining I thought it was so cool to be so "fearles" but it soon became lame and boring. I wanted to be scared. I'm not trying to say that I'm so fearles neither I am embarased to admit infront of others that something scared me. So last night something cool hapened. While I was sleeping I think I woke up and I was looking straight up but I can't be sure it was real cause it was complite dark and I couldn't see anything. Anyway as I was looking into the dark I felt unspeakable fear. I couldn't even move my arms. I could only feal the fear. If I said I liked it some of you might think I'm weird or even bad but anyway I don't care. After a while I managed to smile. After even more trying I finaly even managed to move my arms. That lasted a short time but it was coming and going. Like if I could controll it. The one moment fear gets all over me and the other it leaves and then by my will it comes back and then goes away again. After a while I fell asleep again. That thing I think hapened again some times not very long ago but I don't remember it very clearly. It was like something else was there with me. Something some times I wish it would come. Maby it heard my desperate calling. I wana see its image some time though.