vomitious

i don't know how to put all of this into words. i can't even grasp how to explain and articulate it all. the actual event was so heart-stopping. this entry will not do it justice, no words can.

it occurred around 11 am this very morning. i let the dog outside and decide to accompany him. it's cold. the snow is finally falling. i stand on the porch and light my cigarette, watching a flock of birds disperse from the bushes as my dog wanders about. out of nowhere, the most gorgeous dove swoops by me and lands on the porch. it swiftly flies up to a wire over my backyard and sits, perched. all i can do is stare in aw of the utter beauty as it stares back at me. i expect the dove to fly away at any second, but it doesn't. it remains, gazing at me, as the snow falls heavily. breath-taking, the most beautiful thing i have ever seen. i think about how i don't believe in life after death as i get this immense feeling that the dove, this picture of perfection, is a present, a sign, from my sister. all i can do is cry. from the beauty, from the hope. after about 10 minutes of all this, i return inside. it's still there, watching me through the window. i cry harder as i feel complete happiness. finally, the dove leaves it's resting place and swoops down to the ground and disappears.