voltairemay7

Ok back again from a trip to wonderland, or wonderlust or wherever we go when we drop off the deep end. I'm back to writing poetry. Here is the latest. Why does depression always bring out one's muse?

Faith Falters

I sit immobilized by your absence
Drowning in faithless despair
The old fear claws at my chest
A will, once mine, strains weakly
Slowly sinking into nothingness

I see no
Reason
Purpose
Path forward in this world
Only ashes and ending

How can I inflict myself on one
I love
So dearly, deeply, wholly?
How dare I hope that love will save me?
What right have I to freedom?
When the price must be paid,
By my own flesh and blood?

My choices mock me now
Cruelly indifferent to the sorrow of my circumstance
Time with no heart, no soul
Endlessly edging forward
Crushing dreams with its hard weight
I curse you now but
In deafness you press on

So another day will pass
Grey to black
Then to grey
Pitiful
I have become
Beyond the call of sanity and responsibility
I cannot abide this thing I am
Had I any worth, any worth at all
All I would give to be as you see me
To have you near to hold and comfort me
And somehow begin
Anew