voile

Been thinking about mortality a whole lot lately. My mom finally decided to inform me yesterday, as we chatted over Skype, she from her house in Mexico, that my step-dad went in for x-rays regarding a lump, which turned out to be benign.

My grandmother is 88 years old, and becomes more and more frail everyday. She still hasn't recovered from the pneumonia she caught in early February, just after a friend of hers - from the war - died. I had to take her to the funeral. And she doesn't eat. I am very concerned.

It has reminded me that my parents are not, as I have thought for most of my life, invinsible, and they will not live forever.

I have also, very recently, discovered - disconcertingly and upsettingly, I might add - that I am not so different from my step-mother anymore. Recent events have even lead me to empathize with her and her continuing evil plot of complete universal Father domination. This doesn't mean I forgive her for anything she's done over the years. I still think she's a total bitch most of the time. But at least now I understand her a little bit. And that's much better than not understanding her at all.

And to give her some credit, within the past six months or so, she's been trying to make ammends. At least, I like to think of it that way. I will not think about the fact that she very probably has evil motives and manipulative plotting behind everything she does.

Updated to add:

I fucking hate hotmail.

and I'm going to see Rob Zombie on the 4th with some friends. Which thinking about consequently makes me feel less frustrated with hotmail. Fucking hotmail.

Where. Is. Everybody.

an p.s. again. I think I'm going to be a whore and make a wish list. Why the hell not I say.