vm

At twelve midnight, I realized what was bothering me. There were lots of things.. too many to list here.. and they've been gnawing away at me, slowly putting enough holes in my life that I was starting to sink. It's a simple realization:

It's all about the people.

I've been looking for friends before now around here because it'd be fun to hang with someone - but now, I'm thinking, in the end everything you do in life doesn't matter if you don't have people.. whatever their relation is.. to share it with. It all comes down to who's at your funeral and not under social obligation - I don't mean literaly who is there, but who WOULD be there, if that makes any sense.

In short, since I moved here I haven't met anyone. While I'm working on fixing that, I've realized this basically renders any action I take meaningless. I'm not complaing about this fact, I'm just glad to have finally realized what's been bothering me, and it's hopefully a problem I can fix. It's a load off my shoulders.

And no, I'm not always this much of a downer, lol.. damn the Hollidays and all their deep-thought meaning-of-life kinda questions.