My body hates me. I just keep pushing it further and further in my drunken exploits. Saturday I woke up an hour before work, more hungover than I usually am, trudged to work, then did it all again last night. We were partying at Deckwreck and Knifefight's place. My buddy Andrew got completely obliterated... and then spit beer in my eye. For revenge, I followed him out to the porch, claiming I wanted to smoke. He steps out, and the two beers in my hands are suddenly frothing forth their fury upon his person. He is completely fucking drenched.. and pissed.
We start to rassle (wrestle for all you non-southern folk). I'm a drunkard, not a fighter, so I'm just kinda dodging away from him and smacking him a bit, when he finally gets a hold of me. He fucking suplexes my ass into the ground. All the wind is knocked out of me. Everyone goes silent for a minute, then s tart frantically asking if I'm okay. Andrew is lying atop of me stroking my face going.. "I love you Paul, don't die, you're my buddy, so pretty." I start giggling like a made man and humping his leg (in that definately hetrosexual, lets pretend I'm gay, way).
Our friend Catie was there. As always I was talking mass amounts of shit to her. She is one of the few people that I'm cool with that hasn't grown use to my normal verbal jabs and thrusts, and thus gets offended quite easily when I'm around. Tonight was no different. We were out on the porch, and I was trying to say that I didn't hate her, that I loved her, yadda yadda ya. She then bet me I couldn't say I loved her while looking straight into her eyes. Well damned if it didn't take me 5 minutes to be able to say it with a straight face. When asked about it, I go, "With a face like that, can you blame me?" I thought it was a great line. She was hurt though. In order to settle it, I told her to just slap me, and things would be even. When will I learn just to keep my fucking mouth shut? She rears back and lays the smack down on me, rings and all. Very painfully. But funny. Anyways.. I'm hungover.. and have to get ready to meet the 'rents for Easter dinner.. I'm out.
We start to rassle (wrestle for all you non-southern folk). I'm a drunkard, not a fighter, so I'm just kinda dodging away from him and smacking him a bit, when he finally gets a hold of me. He fucking suplexes my ass into the ground. All the wind is knocked out of me. Everyone goes silent for a minute, then s tart frantically asking if I'm okay. Andrew is lying atop of me stroking my face going.. "I love you Paul, don't die, you're my buddy, so pretty." I start giggling like a made man and humping his leg (in that definately hetrosexual, lets pretend I'm gay, way).
Our friend Catie was there. As always I was talking mass amounts of shit to her. She is one of the few people that I'm cool with that hasn't grown use to my normal verbal jabs and thrusts, and thus gets offended quite easily when I'm around. Tonight was no different. We were out on the porch, and I was trying to say that I didn't hate her, that I loved her, yadda yadda ya. She then bet me I couldn't say I loved her while looking straight into her eyes. Well damned if it didn't take me 5 minutes to be able to say it with a straight face. When asked about it, I go, "With a face like that, can you blame me?" I thought it was a great line. She was hurt though. In order to settle it, I told her to just slap me, and things would be even. When will I learn just to keep my fucking mouth shut? She rears back and lays the smack down on me, rings and all. Very painfully. But funny. Anyways.. I'm hungover.. and have to get ready to meet the 'rents for Easter dinner.. I'm out.
deckwreck:
Yeah, I knew that was going to happen.
scopitone6248:
That second scoop is a little light, ain't it? Then again it did just ruin a dozen sedans and mini-vans!