vkeithv

can this ever be what it once was? have i burned the bridge to the point of never crossing it again? i hope not. i think i've been stuck. trying to hang on to something i shouldn't have. things were said and done and i held on to those like it was the law. at times pretending i was someone i'm not, that this was something it isn't. you say i don't get it, but i do. i always have. sometimes i just ignore it though because i'm living in my own world thinking of only me. and because i was playing 'make believe' when it didn't go my way, i was shitty towards you. that's not fair. that shouldn't have ever happened. i'm tired of being a shitty friend (to a lot of you). i'd rather live in reality, keep my friendships and just be happy. but somewhere along the line i forgot how to do that. because it started out to be rather fun and i was having a blast. and now it's not anywhere close to being fun. i think a few times here and there it's great, but for the most part, it's pretty crappy. and that's just caused me to treat you worse and worse. to the point now that i don't think you'll ever think of me that way again. am i worrying too much, probably, but i don't think so. i've just gone through this so many times that i don't want you to be the next victim on the list. i kill my friends off so often i'm surprised the word isn't out on the street. so, i hope that we can not only be friends again, but it returns to the way it was....just fun, no pressure and the both of us having a great time. that's all.
keith.


colts 10-0. woo hoo. not that i care if they go undefeated, because the '72 dolphins can have that glory. doesn't matter anyway, it will be years before the dolphins ever do anything in the playoffs again.

today for lunch i had dijon tofu over rice. holy crap, it was so good.

25 Ta Life-good show!



this morning:
day of suffering.
another victim.
four walls falling.
endpoint.
race traitor.