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hello all,

got a new tattoo friday.
it's the word "HALVSIE" cut in half vertically.
my best friend has the other half. i love it cause it looks like some sort of alien script when you don't know what it says.


no one has been able to distinguish what it is yet.... i like that


on another note, i've been kind of off lately.

i always seem misrepresented, misinterpreted.
like people feel i'm fake. like since i have a Bible verse on my arm i'm going to judge them. like the kind things i may say are misinformed..... it's not that way what so ever.

yes... i have a Bible verse tattooed to me... yes i'm a Christian! but what most don't seem to realize is that because i'm a believer i DON'T judge. if a said "Christan" judges you then.... well.... they aren't Christian.

yes i can be a bitch (can't we all?) but when i'm nice to someone or say nice words i am always honest in that. but when your words of flattery or kindness are mistaken, or even more rudely, ignored, how is one supposed to feel?

i am constantly placed on the back burner as someone to easily bypass. has been that way my whole life. maybe i should be used to it by now? but i'm not. not even close.
maybe i'm being kind because... shocker.... i'm being kind!
sometimes i think maybe i should be the bitch. speak harshly first. always find the bad in people so i can let it out on them. maybe never feel the good things others even may say about me. i think maybe if i act this way i'll be seen as what ? "real"? who the hell defined what is real or true? maybe just maybe i can be real and be myself all at the same time.

the emotions i have right now, well, they're really hard to put into words. i'm letting it all out here mainly because it has always been easier for me to write something down than talk. guess i may be using today's blog as a quick journal page of anger.

i have so much more to say. but i think i'm done.


on yet another note..... a happier one...
have been thinking about another set theme. and i believe i have thought of a great one that represents who i am just as the other 2 did. hopefully will have something in the process soon and i will keep everyone updated.