01:04 am - sigh
I had a shitty day today. Which has ruined my positive "everything is turning around" streak. Not completely, but a considerable blow was fired. My new bartending job, which I fell all too quickly and naively in love with, has already let me down. I still love the job, but it turns certain people affiliated with it have been feeding me...
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I had a shitty day today. Which has ruined my positive "everything is turning around" streak. Not completely, but a considerable blow was fired. My new bartending job, which I fell all too quickly and naively in love with, has already let me down. I still love the job, but it turns certain people affiliated with it have been feeding me...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
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12:16 am - Busy busy busy
So it seems I've got 3 jobs now. And school. And my child. And I'm sposed to start CASA volunteer training soon. Yeah. Things are crazy. But never boring. I started my third job today- I'm officially a bartender! Woo! At the sleaziest bar in town at that. During my interview a massive fight broke out and the...
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12:16 am - Busy busy busy
So it seems I've got 3 jobs now. And school. And my child. And I'm sposed to start CASA volunteer training soon. Yeah. Things are crazy. But never boring. I started my third job today- I'm officially a bartender! Woo! At the sleaziest bar in town at that. During my interview a massive fight broke out and the...
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VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
zarphin:
thanks for the skull heart it made my day. so if you are so damned busy when am i ever going to get to meet you? hmmm? sorry i didn;t make SGB, i'm pretty damn busy too, but nothing to compare with you. hope you're well. ttfn
mattbavougian:
your heart? for me? thank you 
and even if the guy was feeding you a line, listen to it, he is right you wil get by it may take some time and effort, but you will make it
and even if the guy was feeding you a line, listen to it, he is right you wil get by it may take some time and effort, but you will make it
03:40 am - an observation
Ahhh human nature. A phenomenon that never ceases to send shivers of amazement up my spine at each new observation and realization. Today's thought is revolved around a sensitive subject. Not all of us have experienced it in our lives, and hopefully those who haven't won't anytime in the near future. But those of use who have understand how it...
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Ahhh human nature. A phenomenon that never ceases to send shivers of amazement up my spine at each new observation and realization. Today's thought is revolved around a sensitive subject. Not all of us have experienced it in our lives, and hopefully those who haven't won't anytime in the near future. But those of use who have understand how it...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
vixennyx:
damn you- im taking the day off- i freakin deserve it
iliedmyfaceoff:
I think I may be able to get out of work early and catch the show. I'm gonna keep my fingers crossed on that one. I need to get tickets before they sellout.
I stayed home from work today. I really shouldn't have- I can't afford to. It's just that sometimes sanity is more important than responsibility. Going to work with an hour of sleep, a hollow chasm where my heart once was, and no desire to speak to anyone isn't good for my sanity, or the well being of any unsuspecting innocents who try to talk to...
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admitourmistakes:
You are both retarded! I mean, you both show that you love each other... just do it woman!!! Damn!
iliedmyfaceoff:
Sanity is definitely more important than responsibilty.
I just joined myspace(finally) like you suggested. I can't seem to find you to add you as a friend. I'm probably retarded or something.
I just joined myspace(finally) like you suggested. I can't seem to find you to add you as a friend. I'm probably retarded or something.
how i am...
"How are you"
A question I usually disregard unless further conversation is prodded. I hear it on such a regular basis as a form of politeness, and I got so tired of trying to distinguish who was just uttering a standard obligatory greeting, and who was actually genuinely inquiring about my current state of well being.
How am I? I'm honestly a...
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"How are you"
A question I usually disregard unless further conversation is prodded. I hear it on such a regular basis as a form of politeness, and I got so tired of trying to distinguish who was just uttering a standard obligatory greeting, and who was actually genuinely inquiring about my current state of well being.
How am I? I'm honestly a...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
siiix:
I wish I had advice to give. Mostly I just have questions, but this is some heavy shit that is going to take significant effort to calculate a plan. It sounds like you need to restructure your life. A while back, I threw my entire life away to go back to school. I moved back home so I can focus and school and not work. I barely work enough to take care of my kids, gas, food, cigarettes... The essentials, you know? I've learned how to make the most of the little income I have...it's amazing how little I can actually survive on.
Anyway, it's 5am and I know this isn't making a damn bit of sense, but I guess what I'm getting at is that if you want your life to get better, you need a plan. You have to assess your situation and design guidelines to follow in order to get out of the downward spiral you have described.
Just remember, you aren't the only one that is going through it, but you don't want to be there very long. It's easier to stand up while you are still on your feet than it is after you've crashed face first into the dirt.
Don't ever give up. I have fought for every single thing I've ever accomplished in my life. No lies or exaggeration. Fight fight fight. This might sound bad, but it is reality for me: it will never get better, but you will learn to take it easier and deal with it quicker.
I don't have any advice on love. Love is too painful to add to the load I already have on my shoulders. I can't trust my decisions about women anyway. The ones I like are the ones that are bad for me.
Anyway, you look like a cutie. You shouldn't have any problems finding guys. Finding the right one is the problem. Just don't get hurt by the wrong one while you are trying to find Mr. Right. To be blunt, don't get pregnant!
If you do, just make sure he has plenty of cash for child support. There are too many deadbeats out there not taking care of their kids.
Wow....I need to stop....now my brain is going nuts.
I've learned how to make the most of the little income I have...it's amazing how little I can actually survive on.
Anyway, it's 5am and I know this isn't making a damn bit of sense, but I guess what I'm getting at is that if you want your life to get better, you need a plan. You have to assess your situation and design guidelines to follow in order to get out of the downward spiral you have described.
Just remember, you aren't the only one that is going through it, but you don't want to be there very long. It's easier to stand up while you are still on your feet than it is after you've crashed face first into the dirt.
Don't ever give up. I have fought for every single thing I've ever accomplished in my life. No lies or exaggeration. Fight fight fight. This might sound bad, but it is reality for me: it will never get better, but you will learn to take it easier and deal with it quicker.
I don't have any advice on love. Love is too painful to add to the load I already have on my shoulders. I can't trust my decisions about women anyway. The ones I like are the ones that are bad for me.
Anyway, you look like a cutie. You shouldn't have any problems finding guys. Finding the right one is the problem. Just don't get hurt by the wrong one while you are trying to find Mr. Right. To be blunt, don't get pregnant!
If you do, just make sure he has plenty of cash for child support. There are too many deadbeats out there not taking care of their kids.
Wow....I need to stop....now my brain is going nuts.
siiix:
You might think about joining the group Righteous Spawn. It's a group for SG Parents. Can't hurt.
Thursday, January 01, 2004
new years revelation...
im still a bit tipsy, so forgive me if this is rambly. its hard to recover from two bottles of wine consumed entirely on my own in a matter of hours. its even more difficult to screw a tiny little ball on the end of a navel ring when intoxicated. its 7 am. my new years eve took...
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new years revelation...
im still a bit tipsy, so forgive me if this is rambly. its hard to recover from two bottles of wine consumed entirely on my own in a matter of hours. its even more difficult to screw a tiny little ball on the end of a navel ring when intoxicated. its 7 am. my new years eve took...
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VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
paleenchantress:
pretty YOU ! 
iliedmyfaceoff:
I owe you hugs? Okay, you twisted my arm. 
What is myspace.com?
What is myspace.com?
Thanksgiving is one of the only holidays left
that hasn't become completely commercial. Today I
was having a conversation with my daughter, and
she said excitedly "do you know what tomorrow
is?" and i feigned stupidity (although thats not
hard for me)
and asked her "what?"
"its thanksgiving!"
"whats thanksgiving?"
"ya know- turkey, thanks, family and stuff..."
for something in a childs eye to be...
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that hasn't become completely commercial. Today I
was having a conversation with my daughter, and
she said excitedly "do you know what tomorrow
is?" and i feigned stupidity (although thats not
hard for me)
and asked her "what?"
"its thanksgiving!"
"whats thanksgiving?"
"ya know- turkey, thanks, family and stuff..."
for something in a childs eye to be...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
poser:
I agree totally...but I still like Halloween the most. X-mas is overated and is assumed that to be practiced by everyone here. I like thanksgiving as a kid because of jelled cranberry sauce and mash potatoes.
vixennyx:
yes halloween is definately my favorite ; )
today was a good day...
somehow i got a check in the mail that paid for all of my school tuition and left me with 500 extra. happy birthday to me! well not yet- a few more days. i also saw a shooting star, which if that wish comes true life will be perfect. i think for my bday im gonna buy myself a big...
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somehow i got a check in the mail that paid for all of my school tuition and left me with 500 extra. happy birthday to me! well not yet- a few more days. i also saw a shooting star, which if that wish comes true life will be perfect. i think for my bday im gonna buy myself a big...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
runelateralus:
Sonehow I found this journal
Happy belated birthday
Happy belated birthday
vixennyx:
i wisdh i could take u all shoppin- i have no f ing clue where my money went. ah well i did buy my bottle of vodka... so all is not lost!
eureeka!!!!!!
zarphin:
did you get a new vacuum? whats up? hows things? we found an apartment, i'll be living in Carol Stream. hope you are well, and your little one too. TTFN
vixennyx:
no new vacuum- just ecstatic i finally figured out how to put up a pic.
carol stream- i dont think thats too far...
maybe...
i dunno.
how far is it from chi town?
and when r u coming?
were so gonna go out and ransack the town.
im well- just a bit scatterbrained from trying to do too many things at once.
my baby is wonderful.
i came home tonight to my entire downstairs decorated in dixie cups.
kinda freaky.
she was busy.
goin to see the matrix tomorrow(friday)
then im goin to a club downtown called neo.
weeee.
im so good at not doing homework.
oh yeah thats what im sposed to be doing right now.
how is everything with your significant other?
i hope all is well dear.
love nicci
carol stream- i dont think thats too far...
maybe...
i dunno.
how far is it from chi town?
and when r u coming?
were so gonna go out and ransack the town.
im well- just a bit scatterbrained from trying to do too many things at once.
my baby is wonderful.
i came home tonight to my entire downstairs decorated in dixie cups.
kinda freaky.
she was busy.
goin to see the matrix tomorrow(friday)
then im goin to a club downtown called neo.
weeee.
im so good at not doing homework.
oh yeah thats what im sposed to be doing right now.
how is everything with your significant other?
i hope all is well dear.
love nicci
if anyone can tell me in lamens terms how to put a picture into its proper pixels i will gladly put one up. me and numbers dont get along. proper picture pixels please. its my birthday this month. i think after 21 every birthday just gets increasingly depressing. there should be something new and fun that happens every time you beome a year older. like...
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I worked in a bar too down in st louis for a while just becareful with who you trust. As long as you do well that's all that matters..
I have journal I keep elsewhere if you ever want to read about moi =)
its all about neil diamond
get sleep.
good luck!