Work, work, work. I haven't gone out in weeks. On my one night off I end up passing out from exhaustion. Looking around my room you can just see how busy I've been. My wall calendar is still on last month, my desk calendar (which I usually change daily and religiously) is still on last Wednesday. My closet is a messy pile of unfolded clothes, my bills are in a hefty stack in front of my puter, and I don't even know where my school books are, not to mention when the last time I opened them was. I had to drop a class due to lack of time, which screws up my financial aid and puts me on academic probation. All the while the words still echo through my head "just don't lose sight of what you're doing...". Contrary to how it may seem, I haven't.
Working my ass off has made me more determined than ever to get to where I want to be. And dammit, in the words of Meatloaf (forgive me for quoting him) I'm gonna get me right out of this godforsaken town. Right now I'm just dealing with the bullshit and smiling, knowing it's all gonna be alright in the end.
Every night that I put my daughter to bed, for years I have sung "you are my sunshine" to her, because thats what she has always been to me. No matter how shitty things are she always brightens my day, and reminds me what it's all for.
I close this entry with another shameless listing of song lyrics that i dedicate to everyone and everything that has ever hurt me, cuz you have made me who I am today. Thank you. Now fuck off.
...you probably think that I hold resentment for you
but uh uh, oh no, youre wrong
cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do I wouldn't know
just how capable I am to pull through
so I wanna say thank you
cause it
makes me that much stronger
makes me work a little bit harder
it makes me that much wiser
so thanks for making me a fighter
makes me learn a little bit faster
makes my skin a little bit thicker
makes me that much smarter
so thanks for makin me a fighter
I am a fighter
and I aint gonna stop
there is no turning back
I've had enough.
XOXOXO Nyxi ; )
Working my ass off has made me more determined than ever to get to where I want to be. And dammit, in the words of Meatloaf (forgive me for quoting him) I'm gonna get me right out of this godforsaken town. Right now I'm just dealing with the bullshit and smiling, knowing it's all gonna be alright in the end.
Every night that I put my daughter to bed, for years I have sung "you are my sunshine" to her, because thats what she has always been to me. No matter how shitty things are she always brightens my day, and reminds me what it's all for.
I close this entry with another shameless listing of song lyrics that i dedicate to everyone and everything that has ever hurt me, cuz you have made me who I am today. Thank you. Now fuck off.
...you probably think that I hold resentment for you
but uh uh, oh no, youre wrong
cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do I wouldn't know
just how capable I am to pull through
so I wanna say thank you
cause it
makes me that much stronger
makes me work a little bit harder
it makes me that much wiser
so thanks for making me a fighter
makes me learn a little bit faster
makes my skin a little bit thicker
makes me that much smarter
so thanks for makin me a fighter
I am a fighter
and I aint gonna stop
there is no turning back
I've had enough.
XOXOXO Nyxi ; )
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
working that nine to five
and at five to nine
preparing for your second wind of work
sick of ignorant people, that pass off as jerks
and get away with it
a heart is not a toy so dont play with it
a child is never a burden, so stay with it
regrets are what my book is filled with
and i pray with it
on my knees
sacrificial scars on my arms
i used to bleed
now i plea
with those that still do
im not writing this because i hate you
i love you, and im trying to reinstate you
inject you back into my life
this time, dont get so hostile you feel to pick up the kinfe,
razor or whatever the fuck it is you use to abuse yourself
cause i think its become a chaser you use to amuse yourself
no need to put down the grin
you wear on your skin
lying to me wont make me your friend
i need devotion
and world of truth
this isnt eye for an eye
im the paste for your tooth
im here to clean you up
ive never seen you so corrupt
and more than ever im here to abrubt
the sickness that sits on both shoulders
days seem even colder
i guess i wear, wear a grin too
cause this isnt even close to what i told her- ReVeRie
[Edited on Mar 31, 2004 9:25PM]