Oh, this has been the week of apathy.
I think I've been outside the door (if not counting for going out to smoke or to buy the smokes) about 1-2 times this week. It feels really awful. I just realized that I am trapped within my own home. This apathy is keeping me a prisoner. Apparently there was a bombthreat at Falls Road today, not that it is anything unusual. I just keep getting more and more obssessed with Belfast and Northern Ireland and Ireland. Fuck I must get money so I could go there soon.
On second thought, if it wasn't for the damn rent to be paid in about one month or so... I could just lay in my room, with my cigarettes... nick cave and stare out the window all of the time. Who wants to live in a world this ugly anyway? Who can stand people with their trivial happiness?
This fucking headache is killing me. My head is throbbing. The earth is throbbing and demands blood, it needs scorching.
I am not making any damn sense today.
Just another lousy day where nothing seems fun, except for being in Belfast. Or smoking up. Though I don't have anything to smoke.
And if I just couple loose say, 2-3 kilos I would be at my perfect weight, which would be 50 kilograms. I need to get out of this place. I need to do something. Though not very easy to do something fun when all my friends live miles away and I don't have any money.
Hey I guess I am complaining alot today, eh?
Question: Favorite song and artist?
I think I've been outside the door (if not counting for going out to smoke or to buy the smokes) about 1-2 times this week. It feels really awful. I just realized that I am trapped within my own home. This apathy is keeping me a prisoner. Apparently there was a bombthreat at Falls Road today, not that it is anything unusual. I just keep getting more and more obssessed with Belfast and Northern Ireland and Ireland. Fuck I must get money so I could go there soon.
On second thought, if it wasn't for the damn rent to be paid in about one month or so... I could just lay in my room, with my cigarettes... nick cave and stare out the window all of the time. Who wants to live in a world this ugly anyway? Who can stand people with their trivial happiness?
This fucking headache is killing me. My head is throbbing. The earth is throbbing and demands blood, it needs scorching.
I am not making any damn sense today.
Just another lousy day where nothing seems fun, except for being in Belfast. Or smoking up. Though I don't have anything to smoke.
And if I just couple loose say, 2-3 kilos I would be at my perfect weight, which would be 50 kilograms. I need to get out of this place. I need to do something. Though not very easy to do something fun when all my friends live miles away and I don't have any money.
Hey I guess I am complaining alot today, eh?
Question: Favorite song and artist?
isthatallthereis:
it's okay...i did go out to a couple of parties this weekend, but i have felt pretty out of it myself...life sometimes feels like its handing me a bowl of shit...although its not like you have described it kinda puts mine i perspective....thanks...i think i needed a swift kick in the ass to realize that things are not that bad...don't get too down...i now that seems really pointless to say I don't know what you are really going through...but, I will say that I enjoy reading your journal so if you must stay inside...which I am probably going to do as well...then at least we have SG...take care
isthatallthereis:
oh by the way...this is going to be really corny, but my favorite song is Moonriver by Henri Mancini...I actually prefer when Frank Sinatra sings it to me though...I guess maybe I wish my life was like Breakfast At Tiffany's a happy ending...you never know i guess