Ok... now to check off some things on the ;To Do List' of life!
One of the biggest desires I have is to become the person that I see inside of myself and I think that I am well on my way
I have finally realised that all these things I have learned in my life are beginning to add up and I can start to see the bigger picture. Like the fact that the welding trade that I learned from my mother has lead me to this nifty office job that I have now, and that kinda-shitty office job that I have is giving me the financial freedom to buy my home and pay for my car!! And now that I have enough financial freedom I can travel, eat out if I wanna, and start this tattoo apprenticeship that I've been wanting to do for so long. (who knew that an obcession could turn into a viable profession on down the line??) And even though I have been going through some emotional troubles I am also starting to get a grasp on the strength that I need to get some help and face my fears.
I signed up for counciling last week and my initial appointment will be this thursday!! (another perk of the office job= insurance!) I'll try to keep you all posted but be aware that this is hard for me. Oh, and like I said in the last post I have gotten engaged. Most of you all were unaware of the Honcho. He and I have been together for five yrs. this [ast feb. Long story short we met in the college cafeteria and basically started living together after a month of casual hanging out. Granted we started out by staying together illegally in my dorm room on campus but from there we moved to several apartments and then this house. I truely feel that this man is connected to my soul. He knows me better than any other.
2 Novembers ago I proposed to him, mostly because I felt that I was ready and I had been married before and I felt like I should take the initiative. (another long story, if you wanna know maybe I'll post on it later- just ask) But he declined the offer and we have spent many a long night getting over that hump in our road. (also a long story) But now he is ready and I am even more sure that I am ready, the counciling being the most mature step. I also did a very brave thing on wednesday. I sat down in the midst of an anxiety attack and wrot him a letter telling him of all the wrongs I'd done to him and the lack of respect that I'd been having for our relationship lately. Basically a long confessional and apology. I am on the road to recovery! And just one step closer to becoming that woman that i see. Oh, and just an update: I'm still doing well with my quest to quit drinking. I have slipped up once but I'll save that for another time...
So, how have you all been doing in your lives lately?? When was the last time you met a major goal that you'd set for yourself? And what was it?
Oh, and thank you for your feelings on the site. I hope that these changes don't affect our sence of community, and i certianly hope that it dosen't drive any of you (my friends) away.
PEACE
One of the biggest desires I have is to become the person that I see inside of myself and I think that I am well on my way
I have finally realised that all these things I have learned in my life are beginning to add up and I can start to see the bigger picture. Like the fact that the welding trade that I learned from my mother has lead me to this nifty office job that I have now, and that kinda-shitty office job that I have is giving me the financial freedom to buy my home and pay for my car!! And now that I have enough financial freedom I can travel, eat out if I wanna, and start this tattoo apprenticeship that I've been wanting to do for so long. (who knew that an obcession could turn into a viable profession on down the line??) And even though I have been going through some emotional troubles I am also starting to get a grasp on the strength that I need to get some help and face my fears.I signed up for counciling last week and my initial appointment will be this thursday!! (another perk of the office job= insurance!) I'll try to keep you all posted but be aware that this is hard for me. Oh, and like I said in the last post I have gotten engaged. Most of you all were unaware of the Honcho. He and I have been together for five yrs. this [ast feb. Long story short we met in the college cafeteria and basically started living together after a month of casual hanging out. Granted we started out by staying together illegally in my dorm room on campus but from there we moved to several apartments and then this house. I truely feel that this man is connected to my soul. He knows me better than any other.
2 Novembers ago I proposed to him, mostly because I felt that I was ready and I had been married before and I felt like I should take the initiative. (another long story, if you wanna know maybe I'll post on it later- just ask) But he declined the offer and we have spent many a long night getting over that hump in our road. (also a long story) But now he is ready and I am even more sure that I am ready, the counciling being the most mature step. I also did a very brave thing on wednesday. I sat down in the midst of an anxiety attack and wrot him a letter telling him of all the wrongs I'd done to him and the lack of respect that I'd been having for our relationship lately. Basically a long confessional and apology. I am on the road to recovery! And just one step closer to becoming that woman that i see. Oh, and just an update: I'm still doing well with my quest to quit drinking. I have slipped up once but I'll save that for another time...
So, how have you all been doing in your lives lately?? When was the last time you met a major goal that you'd set for yourself? And what was it?
Oh, and thank you for your feelings on the site. I hope that these changes don't affect our sence of community, and i certianly hope that it dosen't drive any of you (my friends) away.
PEACE
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I personally have been having many offset days lately, and even though I know change is in order, I can't allow that myself such personnal space due to others depending on me (ie kids). So for now, I just have to wait.
Again congrates, and best wishes my friend!