violetred

it is SUCH a shame...

yahoo messenger was taken from me some months ago

and now it seems that nobody cares whether i live or die.

like i have fallen off the planet and the only way to communicate is via instant message

i don't even care that no one will respond to this stupid blog. that would be expecting way too much.

i will never be a suicidegirl, which is all i really ever wanted. reality has set in and it is not pretty. i am too old, not punk enough, not cool enough, and ruined by my own self-loathing.

depression is not a way of life. it is an excuse for avoiding life.

i wish there were a light at the end of this tunnel, or at least a person to say "it will get better."

i honestly have no idea what to do next. there is no end in sight.