dear fuckers,
Yes you... all of you, who came in and out of my life like a bad case of food poisoning. The ones that come in and out of my mind... making me reminiscent of things that I shouldn't even give a fuck about.. WHy am I attracted to assholes? There is something about the challenge of them that makes them more appealing or something. THere is something about someone making you feel like shit, that keeps you coming back for more, because the highs ar so high, even when the lows are so low. It makes the sex amazing that is for damn sure... always fucking as if it was going to be the last time and your were going to leave me for someone hotter and more worthy some day.... I remember fucking a boy you might all remember by the name of Bobby... bac k in 2002-2003 era, that the sex was so amazing I was counting the second till I could have sex with him again...
AnD That happened WHILE we were having sex, i was already feening for the next time.
Now i honestly hope he is rotting in hell.... except for those moments when I remember something sweet he said... but I don't even know why, the negatives far outweigh the positives. I know i just am reminiscent of chasing the high. He was a nuveau heroin honestly... the highs were terribly high... haven't experienced much of that since, makes me sad he couldn't have been there with me... This is what happens when you put people on pedestals I think.
He can be a great person, but a horrible boyfriend... now he is with some fat bitch, who controls his life, and all he ever does is bitch about her, but is completely devoted to her..... What does that say about me? If he couldn't even do those things for me, and he does them for some fucking psycho, that makes me feel like the shit on his shoe...and honestly maybe that is where I like to be.
Ok, I definitely don't want to be in that place anymore. I have come to the conclusion that his inadequecies and horrible taste in women is his problem, not me. In fact if anything, he probably couldn't sustain a relationship with me because its hard to be with someone who he thinks is better than him. He would never admit that, but since he has no healthy relationships or anyone to be a good example... Can you really blame someone for being an asshole if they have no good examples?!
Although there is no proof that this is the truth... all I have are my wacky analysis, of my fucked up ex's and their inability to give me what I deserve.
Is this all preperation to make me appreciate the one that does deserve me??
Grrrr. I hate boys right now... except for Cupcake...we don't live together anymore, but at least he is a true honest loving person, who would do anything for me. Too bad I hate boys right now, and just want to be selfish for a while.
Yes you... all of you, who came in and out of my life like a bad case of food poisoning. The ones that come in and out of my mind... making me reminiscent of things that I shouldn't even give a fuck about.. WHy am I attracted to assholes? There is something about the challenge of them that makes them more appealing or something. THere is something about someone making you feel like shit, that keeps you coming back for more, because the highs ar so high, even when the lows are so low. It makes the sex amazing that is for damn sure... always fucking as if it was going to be the last time and your were going to leave me for someone hotter and more worthy some day.... I remember fucking a boy you might all remember by the name of Bobby... bac k in 2002-2003 era, that the sex was so amazing I was counting the second till I could have sex with him again...
AnD That happened WHILE we were having sex, i was already feening for the next time.
Now i honestly hope he is rotting in hell.... except for those moments when I remember something sweet he said... but I don't even know why, the negatives far outweigh the positives. I know i just am reminiscent of chasing the high. He was a nuveau heroin honestly... the highs were terribly high... haven't experienced much of that since, makes me sad he couldn't have been there with me... This is what happens when you put people on pedestals I think.
He can be a great person, but a horrible boyfriend... now he is with some fat bitch, who controls his life, and all he ever does is bitch about her, but is completely devoted to her..... What does that say about me? If he couldn't even do those things for me, and he does them for some fucking psycho, that makes me feel like the shit on his shoe...and honestly maybe that is where I like to be.
Ok, I definitely don't want to be in that place anymore. I have come to the conclusion that his inadequecies and horrible taste in women is his problem, not me. In fact if anything, he probably couldn't sustain a relationship with me because its hard to be with someone who he thinks is better than him. He would never admit that, but since he has no healthy relationships or anyone to be a good example... Can you really blame someone for being an asshole if they have no good examples?!
Although there is no proof that this is the truth... all I have are my wacky analysis, of my fucked up ex's and their inability to give me what I deserve.
Is this all preperation to make me appreciate the one that does deserve me??
Grrrr. I hate boys right now... except for Cupcake...we don't live together anymore, but at least he is a true honest loving person, who would do anything for me. Too bad I hate boys right now, and just want to be selfish for a while.
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when was the last time you went
out with someone in your league?
Ever had someone interested
in your life and go out of their
way to take care of you instead
of you trying to take care of them?