Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats Tip

violet

Enumclaw, WA

SG Since 2002

Followers 633 Following 42

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Wednesday May 27, 2009

May 27, 2009
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
Been having tough days lately.... maybe adjusting.. maybe the weather is so rad that my mind has exploded into a dark bliss of nothingness. Recovered from a dual eye infection, then pulled a muscle in my neck.... am having feelings for one of my best friends and I don't know what to do about it. I told him before I left for Tokyo, and it didn't go over well. My presentation and timing couldn't have been worse. Ah, I have kind of come to terms with the fact that nothing will come of it, because our bodies just don't fit together....we dated for like a week 8 years ago, and it didn't work... he loves women that weigh like 100lbs. It makes sense, he is kinda thin. I also have a huge crush on his best friend. His best friend is just like him but has a much more well fit body for mine. And he has such a similar personality, they are in the same band, and live in the same house.... He is so amazingly hot and talented and I just want to jump him about everytime i see him. But said best friend, doesn't think our personalities will work together...and I ask him why and he said, "well I know you both very well, and I just don't think it would work." I kind of take offense to this..... I mean he thinks he knows me, and he does, but he also hasn't ever been in a real relationship with me, so he doesn't know my charms to the fullest extent. God, everytime I hang out with both of them, i feel like I have died and gone to boy heaven.

Still holding strong with the no sex, I have given into solo time about 3 times this month.....but only out of complete neccessity still much better than fucking a loser. Its been amazing and incredibly hard to not pacify my lonliness, pain, anxiety and desire to be loved with sex or alcohol, I just do yoga and feel the pain.

I just feel it, and cry and feel like shit and then do yoga and feel better...and process what my problems are without ignoring them anymore.

Now I am on my way to go on a date with a guy who is super cute, but is 40! Oldest guy I have ever gone on a date with but he's incredibly charming and looks about 32. I'm excited. We're going on a picnic in the park.
groove:
Nothing wrong with 40 year olds, as long as he's not creepy... smile
May 27, 2009

More Blogs

  • 05.08.09
    8

    Friday May 08, 2009

    Yes, I have given up sex since February... I am refusing to even get…
  • 05.01.09
    3

    Friday May 01, 2009

    home at lastttttttt
  • 03.01.09
    4

    Monday Mar 02, 2009

    Title: Fruit, Seduction, and an Impromptu Bar Jacking Current mo…
  • 02.05.09
    5

    Thursday Feb 05, 2009

    It was one of the last days I was teaching at this very well known un…
  • 01.01.09
    1

    Thursday Jan 01, 2009

    So i have been spending the last 10 days in Vegas and Portland, and i…
  • 12.18.08
    7

    Friday Dec 19, 2008

    Christmas time in Tokyo and Other Oddities Christmas/ NYE Traditio…
  • 12.13.08
    3

    Saturday Dec 13, 2008

    Dear boy who shall remain nameless.... I wonder if you will find this…
  • 10.14.08
    2

    Wednesday Oct 15, 2008

    Y'know life is good. I feel so happy I could go explody!!!!!!!
  • 07.28.08
    3

    Monday Jul 28, 2008

    Why do I go through such phases? Sometimes I am the healthiest perso…
  • 06.09.08
    1

    Monday Jun 09, 2008

    tokyo is crazy.....last saturday night I pulled a 24 hour drink a tho…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

24
years
0
months
0
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,608 SuicideGirls
  • 1,112,987 followers
  • 14,970,324 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,513,679 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo